The Stories Of Ryan Evans
by goldenslider
Summary: Slash. Ryan is obsessed with not only Doctor Who, but Troy and loves to write about them. What happens when he finds out Troy loves his stories and his number one show? RyanTroy eventually. Complete.
1. Chapter 1  Introduction To My World

This is my first ever High School Musical fic. I've been working on this on and off for a few weeks now, and decided it was time I got around to typing it up. Most of it has been planned and quite a lot of it has been written and will be done soon. There will be quite a lot of references to Doctor Who (the new series) in this story, but you don't have to seen any of it, or even like it, to understand this story. Hope you enjoy it. I crave feedback, so please leave comments, good or bad. But please, no "Doctor Who is crap" posts.

* * *

_My name is Ryan Evans, and I come from planet Earth. This is where I was born, and this is where I died. For the first seventeen years of my life nothing happened. Nothing at all. Not ever... Until I met a man called the Doctor._

_A man who could change his face, his body, but he's still the same person. He took me away from home in his magnificent time travel machine. He took me to the ends of the earth, to the time of the dinosaurs, to far distant galaxies, and back again. We traveled through the whole of time and space together, just the two of us. Me and my Doctor._

_He showed me the birth of the Universe, the death of the Sun, and everything in between._

_I thought it would never end._

_At least that's what I thought. But then came the Travelers. Then came the battle and the war. And that's when I lost my love. My Doctor. Never knowing how much I loved him._

_This is my last story._

_For this is the story of how I died._

* * *

I dropped the pencil as I heard the thuds on the door. 

"Come on, butt-much, we're gonna be late."

My sister Sharpay. Never the one to behave like a normal human being in the mornings. Can't ever just knock on my door and say 'time to go'. Always has to interrupt me every time I'm writing. I close the book and pop it into a plastic folder - my writings folder. Never leaves my side. Too much precious things in there that I would never leave lying around for anyone to touch. And then if I want to write something or add to a story, it's right there.

Now I hear you thinking it. Why take the folder with al the writings everywhere I go? What if something happens to it? Well, you may think it strange, but it's all, or at least most of it, is typed up on my computer, under various folders and password protected so no-one can get into them.

Now I know you have another question. Why write it all out on paper if I'm gonna type it up after? Well, there's something significant about writing on paper. I don't know what it is, but I just feel so much better writing it by pencil rather than keyboard.

No-one really understands why I like it so much. Most of the time they'll use computers to write their stuff in class, even maths is starting to get computers to replace books, but I'll still prefer to write by hand. I know my teachers would rather I used a computer, but I know that at least one of them has a fond affection for my writing.

Pity that has to be Ms Darbus.

Now don't get me wrong. I really do like Ms Darbus. She's taught me so many things about acting and singing that I could never repay her. It's just that she scrutinizes the spelling, grammar, punctuation, that if writing by a computer would be fixed for you.

So basically yeah, I like to write.

I pick up my gold hat with the sparkling trim from the hat stand and open the door to see Sharpay standing with her right hand on her hip and her left hand in front of her face so her watch is right between her eyes.

"Sorry. I was just finishing."

She looked to me with one of her icy stares, then quickly put her hands on her chest over her heart and turned away from me.

"Oh, Doctor," she cooed in a swanky voice, "Where are you taking me today?"

She dropped her hands and started walking towards the stairs. I just had enough time to grab my book bag and run along the corridor to fall into step behind her. It was annoying. Even at home walking down stairs we had to be in perfect sync.

"I'm sorry Shar." I said taking the steps two at a time. "I had a dream last night and I wanted to write it down before I forgot it all."

Sharpay stopped on the last step and turned around to face me, holding her left hand out in front of her to stop me in my tracks. Her finger touched the bottom of the police box that was dangling from round my neck.

"So you make us late because you had another dream about snoggin David Tennant?" She turned again and started for the front door. "He's just a guy on the tv. You don't see me getting all lovesick about Charlie from Lost do ya?"

Now I could have responded with something I've been wanting to say for a while, but I had to keep it to myself.

"I said I'm sorry, quit hassling me." I moved ahead of her and jumped down the three steps and stopped at the passenger door.

Sharpay pulled her keys out of her stupid little purse as she kept walking towards her side. Dangling from a keyring was one of those mini-photo holders with a picture of Dominic Monaghan on it. See, I could have been really nasty to her and mentioned that, but I'm not horrible enough to rub one of her crushes in her face. So she criticizes me for having a crush on the Doctor, but I've seen her kiss that keyring when she thinks I'm not looking.

We both open the doors at the same time, and I try to get in in a way that bounces the car just a little too much. I know she hates that. I expect her to shout at me about having manners for the car, but for some reason, today she doesn't.

"Look bro. I think its sweet you have a crush on the Doctor guy." I look at her strangely, expecting her sarcasm to come any second, but she only smiles at me. "And I really do think it's great that you write so many stories about it. I just wish you'd let me read them."

I hold my bag tighter into me. There's no way I would show anyone my work, and she knows it. That doesn't mean she doesn't try though.

"Sorry Shar. I really don't want anyone to read my stuff. It's private, you know."

She's already halfway down the street before she turns back to me again. There's a look in her eyes I've seen quite often before. But never in public. You could say it's like hurt almost. Yes, I know. You don't expect Sharpay to have emotions, or at least ever show them.

But then, her nickname really is so unwarranted.

"Please tell me what you were writing about."

And then she makes those awful puppy dog eyes that she does whenever she wants her own way. And I fall for it every time.

I sigh softly, because as much as I like to keep my things private, it is good to talk to her about my thoughts sometimes.

When I told her I was gay - or rather, when she told me - it was such a relief that I had someone who was so understanding, and who would actually listen to what I had to say. And she never judged, never threw it back in my face. Well, there was once that she called me 'my little gay boy', but she saw how much that hurt me, even though she wasn't saying it in a nasty way.

And it's good to have someone who sticks up for me at school. Now don't get me wrong. I don't need to someone to fight my battles for me, but getting called poof and fag and queer all the time does sort of take it outta ya, so when Sharpay stands up for me, well, let's just say that I love my sister for it.

"It was kinda weird." I say, finally putting my book bag onto the floor. "Me and the Doctor were fighting in this big war and there were these bad guys all around us. And the Doctor took my hand and told me we would be okay, but it wasn't the Doctor anymore."

"Who was it?" Sharpay asked, never taking her eyes off the road in front of her.

I don't know if I should really tell her who it was. I trust my sister with many things, but I really don't think I could stand her knowing that I dreamt about Troy Bolton.

Yes, okay, I do like Troy. I mean, who wouldn't? He's marvelous. He has such a wonderful personality, he is such a good laugh, and, did I mention he's totally hot?

"I'm not sure, but I think it was still meant to be the Doctor. So whoever he was, the Doctor does something with the Tardis that destroys all the bad guys, but I get sucked up too and we get separated. I end up stuck on another place with no way to get back and no way for the Doctor to get me. And he tells me that we won't ever see each other again, and that because I'm missing back home, I'm listed as dead."

"You dreamt that you died?"

To be honest, I don't think Sharpay was really listening anymore.

"I didn't die. Everyone just thought I was dead."

I watched her take this in, and I think I saw a spark of understanding in her eyes. She's not stupid, my sister, but it can take a few tries for her to get what people are talking about.

"I tell the Doctor..."

"Or who is supposed to be the Doctor guy." Sharpay cut in. At least I know she understands that part.

"Yeah, that I love him. And he kisses me."

I have an urge to touch my lips, still feeling something from the dream where the Doctor, or I should say Troy, kissed me. But if I did at that moment, then I know Sharpay would think me even more crazy that I already am.

"So you did dream about snogging the Doctor." She laughed. I didn't.

"And then he said 'Ryan Evans I love', and then he was gone. And I was on my own."

Okay, so I touched my lips to feel the after-effects from the kiss. Or the dream kiss at least. That's the first time I can really remember being kissed in a dream, and it feels really weird. It was so life-like.

"And now you're writing a story about it?"

Sharpay started to slow the car as we were heading into the student parking lot at East High.

"Yeah. I know I'll need to think up a lot of stuff about how the fight happened, who it was with, where I ended up and stuff. But I think I'm gonna enjoy finding out."

She pulls up to her usual space and, surprisingly for a seventeen year old girl, actually parks it right between the white lines first time. I'm still amazed every time she does that.

"As long as you get to kiss your Doctor guy."

She smiled playfully as she got out of the car. I grabbed for my book bag and did the same. She looked at me then as I stood up, and I knew from the look on her eye not to slam the car door, so I didn't. Sharpay was being so nice just now, I didn't want to spoil it.

"I think it might be better if maybe he disappeared just as he was about to."

I have to admit. Kissing the Doctor would be a good ending - or hopefully not a complete ending - to the stories, but there's something wonderful there about the almost perfect moment of a kiss, and then having it pulled away and left untouched.

We took the five steps into the main building, and I carefully tucked the Tardis neck chain inside my shirt. Sharpay didn't mind it out when we were at home, but when we were at school, we had to be perfect.

As usual, people parted ways for us - for her really. I mean, why would they part ways for me? She reached her locker first, got her books out and closed again in the time it took me to put in the first part of my locker combination.

Down the corridor, I could see some of the basketball players that made the school such a big name. But to be honest, my eyes weren't on them. They were slightly to the left, watching the guy laughing and joking with them. My Doctor guy.

He's looking so hot. His hair is flopping on his face as he laughs. I just stand there with my locker open, my head still facing in his direction, pretending to be getting stuff out of my locker. I barely notice Sharpay moving away.

Then, still smiling, he turns my way with a big grin on his face. I turn away quickly and close my locker, following after Shar.

So I like Troy Bolton? So I get nervous when I see him? Is that so bad?

I know what Sharpay would say to that...


	2. Chapter 2 Welcome To School

For as long as I can remember, I've loved to write.

I used to have tons of notebooks filled with all sorts of stuff. Ideas for stories usually came quite often to me, and I'd have to write them down straight away before the next idea came and overwrote it in my memory. I've lost count of how many plans for stories I'd written over the years.

But I can never forget the first proper story I wrote.

I was only about eight or nine at the time, but I used to love a series of films called Back To The Future. My grandfather used to have them on laserdisc that I'd watch almost every time I stayed over there. I used to steal my grandmother's notebooks from her cupboard and just write about them, what happened to the Time Train after the end of the third movie, what adventures they would have, and I wrote about my first crush on Michael J Fox.

Eventually, after being annoyed at always losing her notepads, every time I went, she would always present me with a new one, which was almost always full by the end of the weekend.

And it's continued from there.

Writing is my life. Sharpay seems to think that singing and dancing should be, mainly cos that's hers, but no matter how much I love being on stage performing, writing will always be my main passion.

Well, that and the Doctor.

I know he's just a tv character, but come on, David Tennant is so hot. And the guys who write the scripts make them so wonderful, so passionate, so perfect that I fall in love with each episode I see. There's only a few episodes to go until the end of the series just now. I'm trying to get one of my friends over in Cardiff to send me a copy of them once they're shown. I've heard that they will be even better than last year. And supposedly there's a few scenes where the Doctor cries.

That usually sets me off too.

Shar always takes the piss out of me when it happens, but what do you expect? I'm an emotional guy.

We're just walking into homeroom before the bell rings, and I can feel Sharpay's brow scrunch because I know that she will blame me for almost being late. But to be honest, right now I don't care. I'm still too hung up on the smile from a certain basketball player swung my way just a few minutes ago.

We take her seats, Shar in front as usual, me one seat behind her. Before Darbus comes in and reaches her desk, I've already got one of my notebooks open in front of me, a pencil in my hands ready to write something.

Then in walks the wearer of that smile, followed by two of his basketball losers.

Don't misunderstand me, I have enormous respect for the basketball team. I know I shouldn't, not the way some of them treat me, but, well, you haven't seen all of them in the locker rooms.

Troy takes his seat to the right of Sharpay, and Chad and Jason take the two behind him so that Chad is across from me.

I can't stand that guy. Always makes fun of me, just cos I'm gay. Most of the basketball team do, just usually Chad's more in my face about it. Poof, queer, fag, all the names he can usually think of.

But there's only one basketball player that doesn't call me them.

I'm sure you can guess who that is?

Ever since he and Gabriella took the lead of Kelsi's Twinkle Towne Musical, he's been different towards me. He says hi, he asks me how I'm doing, asks for help in dance or song if he needs it, almost acts like a proper friend should.

Thank god he doesn't know that I fancy him. He doesn't seem to have any problems with me being gay, I think he's glad cos that means more girls for him.

Probably not, but we've never really talked about it. When he does talk to me, it's usually relating to either singing, dancing, or school work.

I don't think he'd be too happy if he found out about the stories I'd written about him.

"Listen up, everyone." Darbus was saying from her desk. "I have some news about the next musicale coming up soon."

There were groans and moans from most of the class.

"Miss Nielson has written some very interesting pieces for her new play, so the time has come for my wonders to audition for parts." She turned to Sharpay "Now I know Miss Evans will provide you all with the details you shall require."

I saw Sharpay's smile even through the back of her head. I knew that she had conned Ms Darbus into giving her the details of the play way in advance of everyone else. Kelsi had written some beautiful stuff in the past - not that Sharpay would ever let me admit that to her - but I'd managed to read some of the things she had written for her new one, and they were marvellous.

Sharpay was now moving over to the back of the classroom, to stand next to Gabriella's table. Don't ask me how, but ever since Twinkle Towne, her and Gabriella have gotten over their 'rivalry'. Most others in the class headed back there too, if just to listen to Shar speak.

I just put my head down and started to write. I had a lot of ideas swirling in my head just now.

I feel a hand on my shoulder a few seconds later. I look back, and Troy's standing there, with this huge grin on his face, looking right at me.

I quite honestly melted right there.

"Aren't you coming to get the details, Ryan?"

I love how he says my name. Ok, so it's the same way that everyone else says it, but there's something about his voice and the emphasis he puts on 'Ry' that makes my insides go all gooey.

"I've heard all about it actually." I say, my eyes still not leaving his face.

He turns his head to look at Sharpay - or it might have been Gabriella, I'm not sure - and I swear he could have heard me groan in disappointment.

He looks back to me, and my head and eyes are in the exact same position he'd last seen them in.

"So maybe you can tell me something about it?" he says, moving Chad's chair over next to mine.

I didn't think Chad would have been interested in hearing what Sharpay had to say about this musical. Turns out I was right when I saw him and Jason on the other side of the room with a basketball in his hands. Thank god Darbus was out of the room, or you know she would have that on her desk already.

"Actually Troy, I just wanna catch up with some writing."

Mentally, I was kicking myself. What was I doing? Why spend time writing about my dream Troy, when the real one was sitting wanting to talk to me?

Ok, so let me explain one thing. I'm not too big on reality just now. If I'm not in my world of writings, I'm acting to be someone else, or singing someone else's song. Not much with my feet in the real world.

Guess I've always been like this.

I could see Troy moving in the chair, and I knew he was gonna get up and leave, but no matter how much I wanted to get into my story, I had to apologise for just kicking him like that.

"Maybe you would help me with something?"

He stopped moving, and leaned closer to try and get a look at the page in front of me. I noticed this after a second and quickly covered it with my arms. God, I so didn't want him to see his name written.

"Help you with what?"

Now there were a lot of thoughts in my head on how I wanted to answer that. And most of them being of the dirty variety. Hurry up doofus, come up with an answer.

"Well, I'm working on this thing just now about a battle, and something about the people involved in it." I could see Troy taking this in. He wasn't looking at me, he seemed to be still looking at the book. Or where the book was before I covered it. "I was thinking something where the main two people are separated on opposing sides of the fight."

I hope I wasn't boring him. It's not very often I tell people about my plans for stories, so I'm not that used to their reactions.

"It's not another Doctor Who story is it?" He's smiling as he says it, so I hope to god he isn't taking the mick. "I've heard that you like to write stories about that."

For a moment, I'm horrified. Then I look to Sharpay, who, even though she is fielding questions of her own, I know she has just heard Troy's question.

"She told you, didn't she?"

Troy looked over to the corner where Shar was, and quickly turned back to face me.

"Yeah. But what's wrong with that? I love Doctor Who too."

I stare at him as if he's just told me he's been promoted to King of the world. Troy Bolton, cool, suave, god-like Troy Bolton loves Doctor Who?

"Really?"

"Have you heard that they're killing off Rose at the end?"

Of course I knew. It was plastered over the newspapers for weeks. I cried for hours when I first heard.

"Yeah, I can't believe that. How can they kill off Billie? She's such a wonderful actress and Rose is so important to the story."

"Pity it's not gonna be on here for another month."

"I know. But I'm trying to get one of friends over there to send me a copy of it when it airs on Saturday." I was practically begging him on emails now. "If he sends it out Monday, I could have it by the Friday."

Troy is just looking at me now.

"If you get it, do you reckon I could come and watch it?"

I froze at that question. Troy, in my house, watching Doctor Who? I couldn't have Troy in my house. I mean, it's not the pits of the Earth or anything, but Troy in my home? What would Shar say to that?

I said the only thing that came to mind.

"I guess so."

Then he smiled even brighter. I thought I would die from the brightness. God, he is so gorgeous like that. And for once, I'm the reason he's happy. Or at least, Doctor Who is.

"So you gonna let me see your story or what?"

I must have looked horrified at his question. Thank god the bell saved me from answering. 


	3. Chapter 3 A Powerful Song

I should really have put this in chapter 1 - this story is in no way meant to humiliate or embarass the actors who play Troy and Ryan or any member of the High School Musical cast or David Tennant or anything to do with Doctor Who. No offence is intended by these stories.

* * *

Everyone who knows me knows that I love to sing and dance.

For seventeen plays, me and Sharpay have been the main stars, the reason for coming to see the show.

Then number eighteen comes around, and we're demoted to secondary for Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez to take the top spots from us.

Now, I really don't mind. Seeing Troy on stage, performing his little heart out, watching his body move as he danced the dance, watching his lips form the beautiful words of the songs...

As I've said before, I love Troy Bolton.

But I wasn't really disappointed by being replaced as top man. Sharpay on the other hand. Well, you know how Shar can be. But she's only like that, because she cares about her work. She enjoys being out there, her eyes sparkling with the red and blue and all the rainbow lights on her.

But I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer that enthusiastic about performing.

I'd much rather stay behind in the library, get into the back corner, all on my own, and write until my hands hurt.

But I know I can't let Shar down. I'm her dance partner, her singing instructor, her coach. I know that she relies on me too much for me to just give up on it cold turkey.

So this is why I'm in the front row of the theatre, her on my left and Kelsi on my right. Since Twinkle Towne, Kels has become more outspoken and the other day I actually heard her stand up against Shar's orders.

We're sitting here, listening to Darbus tell all those behind us who were auditioning for the upcoming play what she wanted them to do.

To be honest, this is the times I try to drown her words out. It's the same every time, 'sing loud, sing in key, don't show fear', all her usual condescending techniques to put most people off and try to keep only those she has worked with many times.

I fake interest in the performances for most of the afternoon, until he walked up on stage.

He was wearing his white jacket and tracky bottoms - his lucky suit he told me at some point during rehearsals on the last play.

It was a bit weird to see him up there alone, without Gabriella by his side.

"Not singing with Miss Montez this time, Mr Bolton?" Darbus called from her seat at the end of our row.

"Not this time Ms Darbus." he said in his oh-so-sweet voice. "We've decided to do solo performances this time."

I looked around behind me. Not many people were still here, most of them having left after performing, or just gotten bored and walked. I couldn't see Gabriella anywhere. I thought that she would have been here, even Sharpay said she would try to make it.

"Very well Mr Bolton. Proceed."

He walked over to Kelsi sitting behind her piano. He passed over some pages of what looked like sheet music and walked back to the microphone in the centre of stage.

Kelsi started tapping the keys, and Troy prepared himself to start.

It didn't seem like it would be a slow song, but something about Kelsi always makes her start out slow, then build up speed a few lines into it.

Because she was playing it slower, I couldn't get it straight away.

"Sometimes it's hard when the rain is pouring in

I used to worry what tomorrow would bring"

I was shocked. I literally put my hand up my mouth when I worked out what song it was. Sunshine, by S Club 7.

Sharpay turned to look at me, my horror evident on her features. I could feel her expression telling me everything, but no words ever came from her mouth.

"Oh god Ryan, don't listen. You know what it will do to you."

She never said it, but I knew that's what her face meant.

Don't misunderstand what I assumed she was meaning. It had nothing to do with Troy and his singing. It was more of the words that the song entailed.

For he was singing S Club 7.

The band I was in love with for years.

Ok, so I used to be mad about S Club 7. I am gay, you know, I am allowed.

I'm sitting there, feeling the tears in my eyes long before they ever appeared, watching Troy belt out that beautiful rendition. Sharpay kept glancing at me every few lines of the song, but I never turned to look at her. I hated her seeing me like this.

Should be used to it by now.

That day I heard they were splitting was one of my worst days ever. I shut myself up in my room with the albums on repeat and cried for a week. Even months after, a slight mention of them would set me off.

And now three years later I can barely listen to their music without tearing up.

It's no surprise that as Troy finishes, and everyone stands to give him a round of applause, I run out of the theatre, crying more than ever.

I didn't see him watching me as I left, nor did I see him jump down from the stage and go over to Sharpay.

So it was shocking when I see him in the mirror behind me a few minutes later, in the boys' toilets just next to the theatre, with me looking at my reflection, tears scrolling down my face.

"If you didn't like my singing, you could have just said." I could hear the humour in his voice, but I couldn't say anything back. "Sharpay told me why you're so upset."

Stupid cow, couldn't she keep her mouth shut for once.

"Stupid cow, couldn't she keep her mouth shut for once."

It took me a few seconds to actually believe I'd just said that. Normally, I'm very careful not to say what I'm thinking. But then I guess this is hardly normal times.

Troy seemed to ignore the little outburst, instead hitched his leg up on the counter and sat, half-facing the stalls, half-facing me.

"She told me that you were 'so in love with them'," he said, smiling. "Her words."

True, but why did she have to tell him that. I already hate him knowing that I'm gay. I always feel worried that he thinks I might suddenly try to kiss him or touch him or something.

Not that I ever would, of course...

"They were the reason I got into this." I choked slightly.

"In to music and dance?"

It made sense, didn't it? I would spend the hours when I wasn't writing learning every word to their songs, every move to their dances. And when I was writing, they used to feature in it. Me and Jon, me and Paul, me and Bradley. And once, in one of my first stories about them, me and Hannah.

Well, I wasn't too sure I was gay back then. But then I started feeling more and more for the guys and their stories eventually took over.

"I would spend forever learning all their stuff." I smiled slightly thinking of this, "Sharpay would go insane everytime she heard one of their songs, she'd never get any peace."

"My parent's hated them too. Every time I put an album on they'd scream 'turn it off'." I just stared at him. Normally, I train my brain not to, but nothing seems to be going right today, so why should this. "What?"

I try to cover up my discomfort by laughing slightly.

"I just never thought you'd be into a band like S Club."

"You don't have to be gay to like S Club, Ryan." he said, his lips forming that drawn out 'Ry' that I love so much.

But I couldn't savour it, not this time. Cos his words just killed me.

I mean, I know I would never have a chance with Troy, even if he was gay. But him saying that just destroyed any dreams I had of there some day being the most tiniest possibility of a remote chance.

He sees me looking more upset, so I move two steps away from him, and push myself up onto the sink units, mimicking his state.

"So what song is Gabriella gonna be singing for her audition then?"

He didn't say anything, which made me look to him. He was just staring at the cracks in a tile on the floor, it's originally colour wasted away with all the feet crossing over it.

"I don't really know what Gabriella's doing anymore." He turned and looked me in the eyes. "We broke up a few days ago."

I know I shouldn't, but inside me, I feel a change and some part of me is happy again. I know it's a terrible thing to be thinking, when he's just told me he's broke up with the lovely Gabriella Montez.

"I'm sorry Troy."

I didn't know what else to say. I mean, what are you supposed to say when someone's just been dumped. Or done the dumping?

"I'm not. Not really." He looks away again. "Things have been a bit rough between us for a while."

I didn't know what to do. Should I ask him why and maybe try to give my opinions on how it probably wasn't his fault, or should I be respectful and leave it for him to deal with.

"Why, what's happened?"

Sadly, my brain never picks the right one.

I realize what I've said, and I look at him.

"Sorry, Troy, I didn't mean to pry."

It's ok Ry." I nearly swoon. He's never said just the first part on it's own before. "We just had a few problems that we couldn't work out. And thought it would be best to part ways as it were while still being friends."

I always thought 'at least we're still friends' as being a really corny line, but hearing Troy say it, made me hear it in a whole new way.

The door opens and some kid rushes in. I know I've seen him around, but I can't quite recall his name.

"Yo, Ryan, your sis is getting totally wiggy waitin on u."

And I heard Shar's voice screeching from the outside.

The kid left, and I reluctantly jumped down from the counter. I turned around to Troy, and he was still laughing from Sharpay's comment. I would repeat it, but there aren't enough asterixes in the world to cover the words.

"You sure you're alright?" troy asks, calming his laugh to a smile.

There's so much more I wanted to tell him, so much I wanted him to tell me, but how could I say all that without making him want to hit me and run away.

"Sure." I said lying, but he seemed to accept that.

I gave a short smile and started for the door.

"Don't forget to let me know when you get the Doctor Who episodes."

My hand still on the door, pulling it open, I turn back.

"After me, you'll be the first to know."

And he smiles brighter, leaving me with that wonderful sight etched into my memory all the way home.

Not even Sharpay's rants about leaving her on her own could ruin that.


	4. Chapter 4 Day Of Rest?

Even though this story has barely just started, I've been begining to plan it's sequel. I hope you'll enjoy going through their journey up until then. Please, more reviews. Just a quick comment.

There may be comments in the upcoming chapters that make derogatory comments to being gay. This is purely for artistic reasoning and character traits that no offense is intended. Being a gay man myself, I would never subject anyone to feeling upset or ashamed of their sexuality. Be who you are, not who other people want you to be. That's the main theme for this story too.

* * *

Last night the final two episodes of Doctor Who aired in the UK.

I couldn't sleep I was so excited. I'm so tempted to go on the net and read about what happened. But I want to be surprised when I see it for the first time.

I've managed to get my mate Kyle over there to send me a copy of the episodes. He's gonna send them out first thing tomorrow morning, so I should get them by the end of the week.

It's Sunday today, and for the first time in ages, I have no plans. Today, I feel like just lying here on my bed, doing nothing all day.

But in the brief moments that I managed to doze off, I had a dream, and I really want to write about it. For once, it wasn't about the Doctor. And to be honest, I'm a bit glad. Cos I know by the end of the week I'll be going mad every time I think of what's happened on the show, and dying just a little bit more for Mr Postman to knock.

In my dream, I was at school, following Sharpay as usual. Somehow, she ended up at the other side of the long corridor between the front door and the cafeteria. I tried running towards her, but people kept getting in the way. So I'm pushing my way through them, trying to get passed, but I keep ending up back at the front doors.

Then I feel a hand on my arm, pulling me back outside the school. I turn around, and it's Troy, and he has the most awful look on his face. His usual smile and cheery demeanor is not present, and thinking about it now, I've never really seen Troy without a smile on his face until the other day when we were talking in the restrooms.

So he's still gripping tight on my arm, and he seems to be growling at me.

"You have no right to run away from me." he says in a loud voice. "You are never allowed to leave me again."

Right now, I'm wondering what that meant. But my plans for writing it is gonna be about two guys who have been seeing each other while one of them is having an affair with a girl. When the other finds out, he leaves the cheater, only for the cheater to make his life hell.

Nothing to do with me and Troy, although if I ever come to write a sex scene, I know who I'll be pretending the two guys are.

So in the dream, dream-Troy seems to be doing everything to hurt me, and then, after attacking me and hitting me, he leans down to the ground I'm lying on, and kisses me.

I woke up after that.

I don't know what it is, the last few days, Troy's been in my dreams more than he used to be. Ever since our little heart to heart at school.

But they've always been a bit violent. Or disturbing. Usually, he ignores me, or he abandons me, or attacks me.

I guess it's my mind's way of taunting me that I will never have Troy.

I'm about to start writing in one of my older notebooks when I hear Sharpay's smile, followed by three knocks on the door.

She doesn't even wait for an acknowledgement before opening the door and walking in. I close and cover the book with another. Last thing I want her to see is the notebook I use for writing Troy stuff in. Especially as the cover has his name written all over it.

"Gabriella was just on the phone and asked me to go shopping with her to help her pick out an outfit for her brother's party."

She doesn't look at me as she says this, and for reason, it makes me nervous. I know she's planning something, but with her you never know what it could be.

"And why are you telling me?" I ask, mimicking her by not looking at her.

"Well Zeke is supposed to coming over soon, and I was wondering..."

She stopped, and straight away I knew. She looked at me then, and I knew she was expecting me to fight back. She was right.

"No way, Shar. You want me to go shopping with Gabriella?"

"You know I wouldn't ask you. But who else has my wonderful sense of fashion? And who else is just sitting about doing nothing?"

I look her hard in the eyes, but I know that there's no use fighting. The argument would just go on for another hour until I'd eventually give up and agree to what she wanted done.

"Ok, I can't be bothered arguing. Call her back and tell her I'll go with her."

"I already did." She replied, her smile just getting that bit more cockier. "She'll be here in thirty minutes."

I felt my face turn red. She must have seen it too.

"You want me to be showered, hair, dressed and styled in half an hour?"

She just laughed. I hated when she did that.

"You're gay, Ryan, not a girl. Just jump in the shower already."

So that's how I ended up spending my Sunday. The one day I was gonna do nothing at all, and Shar has to ruin it.

Not that I mind of course, I actually do like Gabriella. She was interesting, had a lot to say on a variety on subjects, funny, cute. If I were straight, I'm sure she would be the kind of girl I would fancy.

But alas, straight I am not, so when Gabriella makes me go into the changing rooms with her, she knows that nothing would happen. I'm the perfect gentleman; I even covered my eyes when she was trying on the dresses.

Now if it was Troy changing on the other hand...

Dammit, why does my thoughts always turn to Troy?

"Com on Ryan, I'm not gonna bite." she says, laughing at my covered eyes. I take my hand away. "How do I look?"

I know you're never supposed to look a woman up and down when she asks you that, but I know Gabi doesn't mind.

"You look amazing." My mouth said before my brain has time to take in all of her.

A red sparkly dress, kinda like the one she wore during her Twinkle Towne auditions with Troy. She was hot. You had to admit that.

"Would you go out with me? If you were straight I mean?"

She's good at reading my mind.

I start stuttering as I try to reply.

"Come on, Ryan." She puts a hand on my chest right in the middle, and it forces me to look down. "You think I'm gorgeous, don't you?"

It takes me a few seconds to look up again, and I could see her trying to stifle a laugh. She fails, and she bursts out.

"Oh god Ryan, I'm just teasing." You couldn't have believed the relief I felt. "I have to get my fun somehow. And I can do that with you cos you're safe. Now that I don't have Troy to mess around with anymore."

I eventually started laughing. In the reality of it, if I were straight, I probably would have responded to Gabriella's advances, even if she was only joking around. Safe? Just cos I'm gay, I'm safe?

"You heard that we broke up?"

I swear I could hear a pang of regret in her voice. She's started changing again, and I turn my back on her so she knows I'm not looking.

"Yeah, he uh, he told me on Thursday."

I quickly think back to our conversation that day, carefully editing out the parts where I'm standing crying in the mirror, feeling the comfort from his words.

"Figures." She says, and she nudges me with the coat hanger of one of the dresses.

She's already fully changed? She must be the quickest woman dresser in the world.

We're at the checkout before she turns to me again. Thank god she isn't my girl, cos there's no way I could afford to spend that much on one dress.

"So when did you and Troy get so friendly that he told you before everyone else?"

I couldn't tell by the tone of her voice whether she was angry or joking. That's the thing with her sometimes. She uses so many vocal ranges that it's hard to keep up with.

I stutter again, and she clearly sees that it's causing me a bit of discomfort.

"It's okay Ryan, I'm not pissed." She said, handing her credit card to the assistant behind the till.

He was cute, gotta admit that.

"Why did you and him break up?"

My mouth just doesn't think sometimes. Troy already told me, although not in so many words, that he doesn't want to talk about it. So why should she?

There was clear upset on her face, and it took all of my willpower not to pull her into a hug there and then.

"You want the truth?" I nod. "He says he's in love with someone else, and he can't go on hurting me anymore."

My willpower wasn't strong enough, and I put my arms around her and literally crush her into me. I could see the cute guy behind the till raise an eyebrow at me and smirk, and I reluctantly let her go.

She took her card and receipt back from the guy and picked up her bags. Saying a quick thanks, she started walking out the store. I was about to follow her when the guy handed over a card to me.

It had a name - Glynn - and a phone number on it.

"Give me a call sometime hot stuff."

I smiled, mainly out of manners, and quickly caught up to Gabi.

She saw the grin on my face, and holding the card in my hand.

"You pulled?"

"Not really interested." And I pocketed the card.

I saw her smirk.

"Not gonna bin it then?"

I looked casually at her, then back into the shop where I saw him still watching us.

"Maybe later."

I took my hat off, my favourite one with the red band and glittered stars, and put it on her head. I ran a quick hand through my hair and put my arm around her shoulder.

"Come on, bucko. Pepsi's are on me." To cheer her up, but I didn't have to say that. She knew. And for one brief moment, I turned back to see the guy in the shop do a motion with his hands at his ear.

The universal signal for 'call me'.


	5. Chapter 5 Doomsday Has Arrived

On Friday morning a package arrived.

I knew what it was straight away without even opening it. I was so excited I nearly dropped it five times while trying to open it. Eventually, Shar took it off me and ripped the back off it.

Handing it back to me, I took out a dvd disc and a small note. Around the words was a small drawing of the police box. Now my mate that sent me this is as big a Doctor Who freak as I am. Kyle's only nineteen, but according to him, the show has taken over his life.

He has the figures, the dvds, probably everything to do with the show. I'm not as bad, I only have one figure of The Doctor and a movable Dalek.

We met about six months ago on one of the Doctor Who forums on the internet. I'd posted some stupid question about The Doctor, and Kyle was the only one to give me a proper reply and not take the piss out of me for asking it. From there we started emailing each other and became close friends.

So close in fact he's one of the very few people I've ever shown my writings to.

And now thanks to him, I have the final two episodes of Doctor Who that would have taken over a month to get shown here.

I don't wanna go to school now.

How can I go there when I have this in my hands, begging for me to watch it? I remove the note that's attached to the cover. 'Don't cry too much.'

Oh god, that's it. I knew something bad was going to happen in it.

I was so tempted to just pull a sicky and not go in to school, and stay here and spend all day watching and rewatching it, but that would cause three problems.

Number 1 – My parents would go crazy if I missed school. They only just let me stay home when I'm really sick as it is. Although usually they just stick me on a bus up to my grandparent's house in the country.

Number 2 – Sharpay would go crazy if I wasn't there to co-ordinate fashion-wise with her. She can be so anal sometimes you wouldn't believe.

Number 3 – Troy would go crazy if I didn't tell him I had these episodes. All week he keeps asking me if they've arrived yet and makes a wounded puppy face when I have to tell him no, and all week he's been saying how he can't wait to come over and see them.

So rather than driving four people crazy, I put the disc on top of my tv and go for a shower.

It's only when Sharpay drives us into the school parking lot that I finally realise. Troy is gonna want to come over sometime today.

And that sends me into an internal panic.

How am I gonna cope with spending an hour and a half with Troy? Watching tv. In my room. Sitting close to me.

My room isn't that small, and it's not as if I'm panicking about there being a mess. I'm remarkably tidy. Something to do with being gay, Sharpay says. She even sometimes has me do her room too, just so it has 'a gay man's touch'.

So my room isn't exactly small – it'd probably be big enough to fit the whole basketball team, and they'd probably have space to play too. Dad bought both me and Shar each one of those flat screen tvs last Christmas so that takes up one corner. My computer is quite close to that with its table and chair.

Then Sharpay pulls the car to a halt and I drop my bag.

"Come on, Spaceman." She says as she opens her door, obviously commenting on my blank expression for most of the ride. "Stop daydreaming about the Doctor and let's go."

She was close, I wasn't dreaming about THE Doctor, I was dreaming about MY Doctor, or that is Troy.

I followed her into the school and all eyes fell on her. As usual. That pisses me off so much. Not that I hate my sister or anything, but why does she always get everyone's attention all the time. Just once I would like to be the popular one who gets all the stared.

Troy's waiting at my locker when I get there. He has his usual bright smile putting out 5000 watts, and when he sees us approach, the beam gets so much brighter. I just knew that Sharpay thinks it's for her, but I feel giddy when I say that for once I definitely know that the smile is for me.

I can't stare for too long though.

Sharpay hijacks him before he can say anything and does her usual flirtation scenarios. I feel so sorry for him just now. I wouldn't wish Shar's advances on anyone. Even though she is currently dating Zeke, the poor guy is always forgotten when it comes to Troy.

Eventually she leaves him and goes into the restrooms across the halls. One place I am so glad I do not have to follow her.

"Sorry about my sister." I say. "She forgets that she has a boyfriend sometimes."

He's still smiling at me. It makes me feel so wonderful every time I see it.

"The perils of being single." He says back, letting me finally into my locker. "So did you get it yet?"

I can't help it but I smile at that. Just thinking about me and him alone for an hour or two.

"It came this morning."

And I never thought it possible, but his smile got even brighter. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that his smile would have been reserved for Gabriella.

"So when's the first showing?"

"I don't know." I stutter. "I mean you need to tell me because you have other priorities like basketball and homework and rehearsals and…"

I stop when his hand reaches my shoulder. It feels so warm that I have such an overwhelming desire to put my own hand on top of it.

Thankfully my brain agrees that it would be a bad move.

"Ry, you're rambling." And he gives a small laugh as he removes his hand, and for a moment I feel gutted. "How about after school finishes. I could drive you back and we can pick up some snacks or something. I always get in the mood for sweets and that when I'm watching The Doctor."

I'm almost jumping for joy. Unfortunately I see Sharpay exit the girls' room and it reminds me of something else.

"I can't, not right after school." I swear Troy's smile faded away as soon as I said that. "Me and Shar have dance tutoring til 4."

His smile came back again.

"How about 5 then? Could bring a couple of pizzas or something."

"Sounds great." I say as Shar resumes her position next to Troy. Honestly doesn't she ever leave the guy alone? Well, I guess I can understand her doing it – if I was a girl I'd be openly hitting on him too.

"What sounds great?" She repeated.

"Oh, nothing." Troy said a bit too slyly before I could say anything. "I better go, I said I'd meet dad before the bell. See ya later Sharpay," and he flashed me a smile as he continued, "Ryan."

We both watched him walk away, and I turned back to my locker before Sharpay saw the goofy look on my face.

"So what were you two talking about?" She asked, still looking in the direction Troy went.

"Nothing."

I was trying my hardest to keep the smile off my lips.

"Don't give me that. 'Sounds great'." She mimicked my voice, or tried to. Shar can never get my pitch right. "What are you two up to?"

"I told you Shar, nothing."

I closed my locker and picked up my book bag off the floor, for once walking ahead of her.

For the rest of the day, I was followed by her complaints of me not trusting her enough to tell her what we talked about, Troy not liking her by not telling her, and both of us conspiring against her to make her look bad.

Even through dance class she was still going on about it. She could just not let it drop.

Does it look like I was caring?

In less than an hour, I would be watching the Doctor with MY 'Doctor Troy' as I name him in my mind. Nothing Sharpay did could ever bring me down from the high I am feeling.


	6. Chapter 6 Pizza Smells Nice

As soon as we got back from dance class, the panic finally hit top notch. In under fifty minutes, Troy Bolton would be coming over.

I was feeling so many emotions run through me, I'm actually glad Sharpay hit me on the shoulder as I stood there in the hallway to our bedrooms. The walk to mine seemed to go on forever. Sometimes I really hated being the last room on the landing.

Time was counting down. I had forty five minutes to get showered, get dressed, make sure I looked good… okay, I was fretting. But I had to look my best for him.

Not that he'd notice of course, but I'd at least like him to think I'd made the effort.

So I'm selecting the outfit I was gonna put on before I jumped in the shower. My purple pulling Armani shirt, which I've been told shows off my chest. My blue CK jeans, with no idea that they show off my bum.

Ok, so I know. Not that he'll be looking. But it can't hurt to dress up well for him, can it?

I'm contemplating wearing one of my blue-green hats with a silver streak through it. Would it be too much to wear a hat indoors?

I toss it back on its hat stand next to all the others. Okay, someday I'm really gonna have to get rid of some of these. Twelve hats is a bit excessive.

But then, I do have lots of clothes for them to go with.

So my outfit's ready. Now I have to be.

The water's really hot as I step into it at half past.

I feel the chill from the open window when I step out of it at quarter to.

I'm still trying to get dressed when the doorbell goes at five on the dot.

So it's understandable that I felt a bit pissed when Sharpay manages to get to the front door before I do. I'm at the top of the stairs when she opens the door to Troy, standing there with two pizza boxes in his hands.

For a moment, you could say he could be a pizza delivery boy, but then you'd be very mistaken. He has on the most amazing black shirt I've ever seen. I could swear I could see infinity in it.

"Troy? We, uh, never ordered any pizzas." Sharpay, never one for stating the obvious, opened the door wider and ushered him in, seemingly continuing her silent flirtations with him.

"I know." He says as he looks up at me reaching the bottom of the stairs. "Hope I'm not too early."

Shar looks at him, to me, back to him, then back to me again. If I could get away with it, I'd laugh at her. Her expression is so comical.

"What's going on?"

"Troy's come over to watch Doctor Who."

And she just stared at him, almost in disbelief.

"You watch Doctor Who?"

Troy laughed slightly. It's only a tv show, why do so many people have problems with it?

"Yeah."

And we left her standing there, looking like her bottom jaw was only a few inches off the floor. We talked on the way up the stairs, but I know Shar never heard what was we said. But when Troy stopped and turned back to face her, I knew she would pay attention.

"And don't interrupt us for the next hour yeah? Don't wanna have to kill you for making us miss what happens."

We started walking again, with me practically laughing my head off. Never have I been able to talk back to Shar like that, Troy must have guts to tell her that.

Wonderful, emotional episode. That's the best way I can describe it. The Doctor's companion stranded on another world, unable to get back to him.

Throughout the episodes, Troy kept looking at me and repeating lines from it. They were so funny when he said them, so much better than hearing it on the show.

But those final minutes had me in tears. Such powerful acting, I understand now why Kyle wrote that on the note. 'Don't cry too much'.

Too late.

The episode ends on a joke, and Troy turns to me to repeat it.

And I see the look on his face as he sees me with tears in my eyes.

"You okay?" he asks. I feel he knows it's a stupid question. Do I look okay?

"Yeah." I lie, as I try and wipe the tears from my face. "That was so beautiful, wasn't it?"

"It was, yeah. I thought she was a goner for sure. That was a good twist."

And it was. The story is all about Rose and her story of how she supposedly dies, but in the end, she doesn't die, but is trapped with her family away from the Doctor, with people back home considering her dead from the battle.

"You want another drink?" I ask him getting up from my position on the floor.

We'd been down here since the start of the episode, pizzas beside us, leaning against the side of the bed, just watching. Occasionally, I'd glance over at him, just to see his eyes move as he focused on what was happening on screen.

"Yeah, that'd be good thanks." As I reach the door, he continues, "Watch out for the Cybermen."

And I laugh. And I feel good.

Unfortunately that doesn't last, as when I return a few minutes later, Troy is standing over at the computer table, reading through one of my notebooks. And worse, it's the one with stories about him.

I just stand there, a bottle of coke in each hand, literally feeling that I want to die.

"Found anything interesting?"

He jumps when he hears me, and he puts the book back on the table.

"Sorry, I just… I saw it, uh, and I just wanted to, to know what you write about and, so I just had a quick look and…"

I can see the uneasiness in both his face and his stance, and I just want to run out of there and hide in a corner until the end of time.

"So you saw… you know that I…"

I couldn't carry on. To be honest, I probably didn't have to. He'd seen the writings, only a really stupid person couldn't work out that the stories were about me and him.

His eyes keep focusing on the floor. He can't even look me in the eyes anymore.

"I should go."

I still stand there, the cokes still in my hands. He doesn't move, just keeps his eyes down.

"I'm sorry, Troy."

Finally, he lifts his head and I see his eyes for the first time in what seems like forever. He keeps shifting his balance from one foot to the other. I just know he is dying to get out of here and away.

"Don't be sorry, Ryan." And he even still says my name in the way that I love. "I'm just a bit shocked. I know that you're gay, I know that you like guys. I just didn't know you fancied me, that's all."

And the words were out before I even thought of them

"I don't." I lied. "It's just… you're Troy. Everyone wants you. And you know me, I always follow the crowd."

He laughs briefly at that. He seems to understand.

He moves back over to where he was sitting, and plonks himself down on the floor.

"So do I get one of those then?"

I smiled, and passed him one of the cokes.

We got talking again, like we had been before this… mishap I guess you could call it. It was almost like it hadn't happened. Troy still talking to me the same way he had been, still giving me the quick smiles as we spoke.

We got on to the audition call backs for Kelsi's new musical. He told me about his song of choice. Not S Club again. He laughed as he said it was because he wants a fair test, and having me crying again wouldn't do either of us good.

"But you sang that song so beautifully. I thought you'd do another of theirs?"

"It's not fair on you." He said slowly. "If I'm against the best, you have to perform at your best."

I blushed of course. Luckily, he didn't see that.

"Not anymore I'm not. That's you now Troy." I give a quick laugh. "You're simply the best." I sing.

He looks back at me and gives a laugh of his own.

"So you do like me then?"

I couldn't keep it in anymore. Another example of when my mouth doesn't listen to my brain.

"I like you." I said silently staring at him. "I can barely keep my eyes off you."

And the next I knew, he was moving over, his face was in mine, and his lips innocently touched mine. I was more shocked than I ever have been in my life.

He didn't pull away. He just made the kiss that tiny bit harder.

Only when the noise of Sharpay's door slamming shut across the landing did he move back. He grabbed his jacket from the bed and ran out, me just staring there, with my lips still in mid kiss.

Seriously, sometimes, my sister just has the worst timing ever.


	7. Chapter 7 My Death

A Big Thank You's to all who have reviewed so far. I hope you haven't been too bored with the pacing of it all. But I've been trying to keep each chapter as one day. This chapter breaks with that rule and takes place over a few. And please don't hate me for the last part. Nothing Troy says is any reflection of my feelings - I am a 22 year old gay guy and would never subject anyone to abuse like that. But there is a reason for it. All will be explained in the upcoming chapters. Enjoy.

* * *

I was on cloud nine the entire weekend. Ever since he left on Friday night, all I have thought about was him. Ok, so it wasn't good when I slept in and made me and Shar late for our dance class, or when I zoned out twenty times during dinner and Shar actually chucking food at me to get my attention, or when couldn't even focus enough to carry on with my writing.

Truthfully, Troy had taken over my mind.

On Saturday morning, I sent him a text message, asking if he was alright. At lunch I asked him if he maybe wanted to come over and watch a few older Doctor Who episodes. At night, I asked if he thought we should talk about what happened.

It's Sunday night and he still hasn't replied.

I don't want to be hounding him, so I haven't sent any today.

I just wish he would text back.

That kiss on Friday night was the best I ever had. It was powerful in a way that no other kiss has been. It wasn't the mash of lips or the grabbing of head and hair that I had with my last guy, it was sweet and tender.

And my mind has been racing since. Does Troy like me? Is Troy gay? Would he kiss me again?

I wanted to talk to him so much.

* * *

Shar's been asking me all weekend why Troy left so quickly on Friday night. I told her he had to get home because he had basketball practise early the next morning. I couldn't tell her he ran out because he kissed me. 

How could I tell her that? She's been all over Troy ever since I can remember. Telling her that Troy might be gay… I don't want to even think of the screams that would come out of her.

I hate Monday mornings, but today there was something about it that literally made me jump out of bed as soon as the alarm went off. I'd see Troy, eventually. We'd be able to talk, he'd tell me that he likes me - not in the way I said it of course. I mean, who goes around telling people that they can't keep their eyes of them? – and that he'd maybe like to go somewhere with me after school.

Want a bet?

This Monday would be just like all the others.

Worse.

Shar stops the car in her usual space, not right on the lines this morning I notice as I get out. But I don't want to cause an argument. I just want to see Troy.

I don't know why, but I was expecting to see him at my locker like he had done every day last week, so I was a bit… I don't know… upset I guess that he wasn't there.

I got my stuff out and loaded in my bag as Shar said something about needing to touch up her lipstick or something – I really wasn't paying attention – and handed me her handbag.

Of course some of the basketball team would pick that time to walk passed and make fun of 'the little gay guy with his purse'. I knew Troy was with them without even seeing him. Chad and Jason surrounded him at his locker, laughing at their own private jokes.

Troy looked at me as he shut his locker, but didn't smile, didn't say anything, just turned with the others and walked off, nearly bumping into Shar on her way back.

"Golden boy not talking to you today?"

I didn't reply to her. I just kept watching him walk away.

I never got to speak to Troy on Monday. Every time I'd try, he always turns away, talk to someone else, walk away, or just ignore me completely.

Shar eventually noticed it too. She's not that stupid. But she never said anything else to me about it.

I just kept my head down, got on with my work, tried to keep my mind on school, and not the basketball player.

* * *

Tuesday was more of the same. 

I kept trying to talk to him, but every time he'd see me, he'd mysteriously disappear. It finally came to a head that afternoon. That afternoon I died.

Not really of course.

But inside me, I died.

I finally saw him when I left the drama theatre after school. He was just coming out of the gym, still in his Wildcats outfit. If I thought he looked gorgeous in his normal clothes, nothing could compare to how he looked in t-shirt and shorts.

"Hey Troy." I said as I walked up to him.

He never stopped, just kept his pace.

"Can't stop. I have to get home."

"Troy what's going on?" I said, trying to put on my powerful voice. I failed. "You've been ignoring me for days."

He turned around, his sports bag hitting against his leg as he did.

"I've been busy. I've had things to do?"

"I just... thought it was a bit weird."

"I was busy, alright, what's weird about that?" He said harshly.

"I've been worried about you." I knew I was losing my bravado, but right now, I didn't  
care. "Can't we talk about Friday?"

"Nothing happened Ryan." I noticed there wasn't the same pronunciation of my name he usually gave.

I tried not to be angry, or laugh. Funny the emotions you feel at times like this.

"We kissed, Troy."

He dropped his bag and quickly walked up to me, his face angry. I thought he was gonna hit me the way his fists were clenched.

"No we didn't." He said rather too loudly. "I only did it to take the piss out of you."

"But…" my voice squeaked as he carried on.

"What, you thought because I found out you loved me that I would just sit back and say 'okay, keep on fantasising about me and I'll just not say anything'?"

I try to put my hand on his arm, like he had done with me so many times. He shook it off, quite violently.

"Keep your fucking queer hands off me." And he took another step closer so his face was right in mines. "Stay away from me and quit stalking me, poof."

He turned away and picked up his bag, and carried on walking through the corridor, away from me and out of my life.

And right then and there, I died.


	8. Chapter 8 Troy's Tale

This chapter is a bit different to the others in that it is written from someone else's point of view. I didn't plan this when I first started, but the more I wrote what was originally this chapter, it made sense to have it from this other view, since it was just Ryan telling in flashback what happened, without the emotional connection that Troy's side does. Most of Ryan's part of the original chapter will take place in the next one.

* * *

My name is Troy Bolton. I am the captain of East High's basketball team, the lead of the last musical, every girl's ideal boyfriend, every guy's idol. I am God in most people's eyes.

A position that I hate with a vengeance.

I am a normal person that everyone looks up to. My entire basketball team rely on me to lead them to victory. Darbus is counting on me to star in the new musical Kelsi has written. Even Gabriella is wanting me to partner her again for the call back auditions.

But I can't really focus on that all just now.

Because I have made the biggest mistake in my life.

Because this is the story of how I ruined my life.

I guess I should start at the beginning.

My name is Troy Bolton, and I think I am gay.

I've sort of known it for quite a while. There's been this guy that I can't stop thinking about for so long. Ever since I first auditioned for Darbus' Twinkle Towne musical. I would just spend hours watching him dancing, learning the moves, practising his singing, and in the times when he wasn't in the theatre hall, watching him write.

Yeah, I think I'm in love with Ryan Evans.

Not too much of a shock, is it?

Gabriella didn't seem to think so when I told her. I mean, of course, she was a bit angry at the thought that I used her to cover up how I was feeling for him, but, in her words, 'I think it's cute.'

Gabi was so understanding when I told her, and she was too good about it, that I knew I could trust her not to tell anyone, even Ryan.

So why did I tell him to stay away from me?

That night in his room, when I stole a quick read through his notebook… I probably knew I'd get caught, but after what I'd read, after I saw in his writings how much he cared about me, my insides just went crazy.

I was ecstatic that he felt that way about me. But of course, me being Troy Bolton, I didn't know how to tell him that. For ages I'd kept it inside me, and thought I'd always have to keep it there.

I mean, you can't come out as gay at East High. Or at least I couldn't. I'd seen how Ryan was treated. He had the piss taken out of him everyday, most times by my teammates. I've seen him hurt so many times, I just know I couldn't go through all that.

I'm not strong like him.

Strong like an Amazon Gabi calls him.

I smile thinking about that.

The first smile I've felt in days.

I feel so bad about what I said to him on Tuesday. I thought about it all that night, and when I got up on Wednesday, I knew I just had to tell him I was sorry. I would try to explain how I felt, how I was scared, and how I regretted ignoring him and shouting at him.

But I never got a chance. He never turned up that day.

Sharpay came in as usual, and I think I heard a few whispers going around about her being on her own for the first time in ever.

I tried asking her where he was, but she just said he was ill. Never said anything more. As if she was pissed that he wasn't in to match her fashion-wise as he would say it.

I felt so guilty that he was skipping school just because of me.

So let me make it perfectly clear in case you don't believe me. I really do care for Ryan Evans.

The excitement I had last week wasn't just for Doctor Who. I could care more if I saw the episodes then or a month later. I just wanted some reason to talk to him more. And when Sharpay told me that he was mad about the show, I knew I had a chance to talk with him without him suspecting anything.

Like I said, I'm scared of anyone finding out I'm gay.

Even him.

So why did I kiss him?

To be honest, I don't have a proper answer for that. My guard was down after I found out that he liked me. 'My Doctor Troy' he had called me in his stories. That kiss that happened as Doctor Troy was seeing him for the last time. I wanted that.

And when he told me that he couldn't keep his eyes off me, I just had to feel him.

I touched his lips, and for those brief seconds, everything was okay.

Then I heard Sharpay moving outside and the reality of it hit me. I felt sick that I'd done it – not at the actions of it all, I could never regret kissing him – just that I'd let my heart escape and allow it to rule my head.

So I just had to get out there. I couldn't look back as I did, or I know I'd want to stay and carry on kissing him.

See, I don't make sense, do I?

Told you I was confused.

Friday and Ryan still hasn't come back to school. I don't really blame him. I wouldn't want to see me either after what I'd done to him.

I found out from Sharpay that his parents sent him up to his grandparents. Seems they always send him there when he's ill. Sharpay says it's so none of them get sick themselves, but I really feel it's just because they can't be bothered looking after him.

So I asked Gabriella to come over, and I tell her everything that's happened.

And she just listens, and after I tell her the words 'I think I love him' again, she hugs me.

And when she lets me go, she slaps me across the face.

I guess I deserved it.

She told me she had spoken to him earlier that day, and that he had told her all the stuff I told her, minus the fact that I said I loved him.

I so wished she had told him how I felt.

She said that he had to talk to me, and when he came back, she would get 'that dumb jock to listen for once'.

I don't mind being referred to as that, cause right now, that's how I was feeling. So he was planning on coming back in a few days.

It's Wednesday before I see him at school. I actually smile when I see him, and I'm sure he saw it as he followed Sharpay in. I hope he was okay.

He just looks at me when he gets to his locker, but carries on as normal and follows Sharpay to home room.

It's not until lunch that Gabriella gets us alone in the theatre. I'm so nervous as she walks me down to the stage. I was gonna tell him, and she knew it.

She gave me a grin as she walked away.

So I sat down and told him everything. From being in love with him, to being sorry for everything I had done to hurt him.

That's when he told me he had something to say me. He was seeing someone.

And that's when I knew I'd ruined my life.


	9. Chapter 9 A Stupid Mistake?

Back to Ryan's point of view with this chapter. I've changed most of my original plan for this whole story in the last few days, and am trying to work out how to get to the ending I want them to be at with the new ideas I have in mind. Then again, if they don't work, I'll probably stick to the original idea. Hope you're still enjoying the story so far, any comments or complaints are welcomed. And please do review, it makes the hours writing and typing this worth it. This may be the last chapter for a few days. I'm on holiday from work, so probably won't be at home very much. But the wait will be worth it.

* * *

I had a good time when I was staying at my grandparents' house.

Usually, when I'm sent up there when I'm ill, I feel really bad about being a burden on them.

But this time, I actually had a laugh up there.

Considering how I'd been treated a few days before by someone I thought actually liked me, it was a real breakthrough.

My parents called them up on the Wednesday night, and on the Thursday morning, I was in the back of my grandfather's car on the way to theirs.

When I got home on Tuesday after school, I just wanted to die. Troy had told me he hated me and to stay away from him.

He only kissed me to take the piss out of me.

That hurt so much. I thought he actually liked me.

I went to bed early that night, despite Sharpay's attempts to cheer me up. I didn't tell her what had happened. There was no way I could. Knowing her, she'd probably go over to Troy's and beat him senseless.

Not that I'd mind of course.

I couldn't face going to school on Wednesday morning, so I convinced my parents that I really was sick. Guess my acting classes are really starting to pay off.

So they made me stay in bed, and left for work.

I was up and in my shower before their car even left the driveway.

There was no way I was gonna be moping around here alone. So once I was dressed, I left.

I went to my favourite coffee shop, and sat there for about an hour, the waitress topping my cup up every ten minutes or so.

I made my way to the dvd shop down at the mall. I wasn't really looking for anything in particular, just something that could cheer me up.

Then I saw him.

What was his name? Glynn wasn't it? Over in the clothes shop, the same shop me and Gabi had visited only days before. He smiled when he saw me, but I just quickly turned away. I wasn't in the mood for being hit on today.

So how did I end up back at home with his number in my mobile and a text from him telling me to 'cheer up beautiful'?

It flattered me, really. He was a nice enough guy. Good looking. Seemed funny. And for a while, took my mind off the actions of a certain Mr Bolton.

He bought me a drink on his lunch break and we sat outside, and he let me tell him about myself. He asked me questions about my family, I asked him about his, and he asked me why I was so unhappy. So I told him.

And the first thing he said was 'his mistake'.

And that made me laugh.

So when I was sent up to my grandparents the next day, I was feeling better. I texted him when I was up there, and he replied back within minutes. We spoke for seemingly hours at a time. My gran even complained that I never speak to her for that long on the phone.

For those few days, my mind was only on Glynn.

Then I got a call from Gabriella.

She knew something had been up with me and Troy, and she knew from Shar that I was faking illness just to get away for a few days.

I hadn't even told Shar why I was desperate to avoid school, but that's the thing about Gabi – she presses and presses until she gets the information she wants.

So I told her what had happened between me and Troy. She listened, she never interrupted, she never judged me or him for what went on.

Then she says that she'd sort it. She says she'd get me and Troy to talk, because there's apparently something I don't know about Troy.

To be honest, I couldn't care.

I come back home on the Tuesday night, and I'm welcomed back with a punch to the arm from my sister. She's pissed that I never told her what happened. It didn't take two and two to work out that Gabi had said it all to her.

That's the thing I hate most about women – they always gossip, even on stuff that doesn't concern them. But then as Sharpay usually says to me 'you do concern me'.

And that's the reason why I love her, and the reason I've put up with her for all these years.

My parents wake me up at half six on Wednesday morning, like they didn't trust me to get up and ready on my own.

They still don't know. Sharpay promised me she wouldn't say anything. And for that I'm grateful. I really don't want mom fussing over her poor gay baby, or dad's unapproving eye that I kissed someone from school. See, he really doesn't get it. He accepts me for who I am, don't get me wrong, but whenever something remotely gay is mentioned, he just seems to ignore it.

So I jump in the shower and spend the next hour getting ready for school. Hair, styled. Clothes, dressed. Schoolbag, packed.

I pick up my writings books, about to put them in the bag. I haven't touched them since last Tuesday. Since he last touched them. I didn't even take them with me when I went to my grandparents. I haven't written anything for over a week... I just had to get away from everything.

I hold both books to me for a few seconds. Then I throw one of them into the far corner of the room, hitting the metal bucket with a clank.

Sharpay stood in the doorway a few seconds later.

"What was that noise?" she'd asked.

I looked over at the bin quickly then back to her.

"Just getting rid of some rubbish."

I really wasn't looking to forward to being at school that day. I certainly wasn't up for Gabi's little intervention she said she'd do. I just wanted to try and get back to normal.

Or as normal as I could get.

During first class, I got a text message from Glynn, asking if I wanted to go for a coffee after school. I didn't get to reply until the first break at half ten. I didn't want to risk a teacher taking my phone off me like Darbus does with everyone else's.

I sent back a quick message saying 'I'd luv 2'.

When the lunch bell went at half twelve, Gabi asked me if I still wanted to talk to Troy. I didn't really, but If Gabi thought that Troy would apologise, I guess I had to go through with it. If only just to try and get things sorted.

So I'm waiting in the theatre when I see him walk down to the stage with Gabi She says something to him that I can't hear and walks away, leaving us alone for the first time since last Tuesday.

I'm not too anxious to be in the same proximity as him right now. Thinking back to his outburst last week makes me think what I ever saw in him. Why did I ever fall for Troy Bolton? I thought there was an actual person inside, but all I saw was a monster.

He asks if he can sit down, and for a moment I feel like asking him why he'd want to sit next to a queer, but even thinking of him saying those words to me eats me up inside. 'Get you fucking queer hands off me'. Not something I ever want to think about again.

He tells me he is so sorry for what he said to me, that he was just really confused about the kiss, the first real acknowledgement he's made of what happened between us that night. He said that finding out that I liked him was scary for him, because he said he had been feeling something for me for a while, that he thought he was gay.

I really think my jaw dropped when he said that.

It all made sense. Everything Gabi had said - or didn't say - on the phone, Troy fancying someone else from our drama group (and that not being Sharpay), Gabriella's weird comments when I mentioned Troy having told me they broke up.

It started to slot together. Troy was gay, and was terrified.

And suddenly, in that minute, I loved him all over again.

Then I made a dreadful mistake.

I told him I was seeing someone.

His face dropped the farthest I've seen it go. He looked devastated.

It was a lie, of course. Me and Glynn were just friends. But I still said it.

I said I'd been seeing him for a few weeks, that we weren't very serious, and came up with how I'd been so upset about everything Troy had done to me, that I'd gone to see him and said we should become more, that he'd visited me when I was at my grandparents, and that I was going round to his tonight, making it seem like I was spending the night with him.

Troy left eventually, and I watched him walk slowly away with his head low and feet tripping the floor, and look back at me as he opened the door. The expression on his face was just too much to cope with and I turned away from him.

He never saw me wipe the tears off my face as I sat there alone.


	10. Chapter 10 Our First Date?

I never thought I'd reach chapter ten after just two weeks. So the first few lines pay tribute to that. Also just noticed today that the story has been added to the 'Drama Kings' Troy/Ryan Community. So kudos to the community manager for selecting it.

I do hope people are enjoying it, and reviews seem to be in favour of it. But if there are any complaints about it, I'd be open to hear it.

* * *

Something about the number ten follows me everywhere. 

I lived at number ten.

I had ten aunts and uncles.

My Doctor was the Tenth.

And I was ten the first time I had any thoughts about Troy Bolton. 

I met with Glynn later that day.

He was looking so nice and he seemed so happy to see me, I felt so bad that I walked in there with my face tripping me. I hated myself so much for using him as an excuse.

I'm really wishing I hadn't said that to Troy. He looked so upset when I told him, the look on his face just destroyed me. Hearing him say that he loves me, well that was one of my dreams come true.

So I am really kicking myself for knocking him back.

But over the last week, I'd gotten over him - or so I thought. I'd managed to get him out of my head for the first time in god knows how many years. I was feeling happy. I'd met Glynn, and he seemed to like me for who I am, asked me out many times when I saw him on the Wednesday, over the few phonecalls we had while I was away, and through the countless texts we sent back and forth.

He understands why I kept saying no. He knew I was feeling really... I don't know, weak I guess. He knew I didn't want to rush into anything. And he knew there was a chance I would say yes.

So I used that friendship with him and took it one step too far to rub it in Troy's face. Well, I don't mean it like that. I just wanted to hurt him like he hurt me.

And feel so bad about it.

Before I even sit down, he asks me if I'm okay. I lie, like I always do, but I can see in his face that he doesn't believe it. He doesn't say anything, he just smiles and passes me over a bag.

I pull out a box, and from that, a leather bound writing book and ink set. At the bottom right corner, inscribed are three letters - R, A, and E.

"I saw this at the bookshop," he said as I was still examining the book. "I know you like writing in style and I know you need a new one." I ran my fingers over the letters. "I saw the guy's name on it, and it made me think of you."

Don Rae, the manufacturer of this set. I look at him funny and eventually give a quick laugh.

"You have a good eye to spot my initials in someone's name."

We drink. We talk. We laugh.

I don't tell him about Troy. We're having such a good time, I don't want to spoil what we have just now.

So when he asks me again for the tenth time, I say yes.

We shared our first kiss later that evening. It was warm, soft, and passionate, and in my head, I was back in my bedroom, on the floor, and I could feel Troy's lips pressing against mine. I pulled back quickly and I could see, hear and feel Glynn groan in disappointment.

I apologised to him over and over. He just took my hand, and kissed it gently. I moved it to touch his face, and I inwardly cursed myself for letting Troy ruin this.

I moved my head close and touched my lips to his, and this time, it really was him I was kissing.

And damn he was good. 

I didn't get home until after ten. It wasn't too late at night to expect my parents to give me the third degree. I certainly didn't expect it from my sister. So that's probably why she was standing in my doorway when I reached the top of the stairs.

"And where exactly have you been all day? I've been ringing your phone forever."

Typical Sharpay. Never a hello first.

"Evening to you too."

"Okay let me put it another way." she puts her hands on her hips. "Where have you been?"

"I was out with a friend. There's no rule that says I can't do that is there?"

I took off my bag and put it on the bed, taking my phone out of it and switched it back on. I shouldn't really have switched it off, but I certainly didn't want any interruptions while I was with Glynn.

I hang my jacket on a hanger, and Sharpay follows me into the room. Makes a change that she's following me around for once.

"You missed out on drama rehearsal."

"Darbus hasn't even picked the leads yet, how can there be a rehearsal?"

I sat on my bed, and she stood a step in front of me.

"Stop changing the subject Ryan. Where were you?"

Okay, so my sister is persistent. At least she's not like those people who try things once and give up. That's what I like about her.

I felt I should put her out of her misery.

"If you must know, dear sister, I was out with my boyfriend." And a smile came to my face as I called him that. It felt good to say it and really mean it.

"Ryan, you don't have a boyfriend. That's what I told Troy earlier too."

And the smile that I felt so happy about disappeared from my face as quickly as it came.

"You did what?"

"Oh yeah, I told him. Poor boy was practically in tears when he explained it all to me. How could you lie to him like that?"

She seemed slightly angry as she said it. Nothing like how I was feeling.

"I wasn't lying Shar." I shouted. "How dare you come in here and say that?"

Okay, so I do know that I was lying, and lying again.

"Are you serious?"

I softened at the tone of her voice. The real voice of my sister.

"We've known each other for a few weeks." I smile at her, finally. "His name's Glynn."

And I see sparks of thought fly across her face.

"Him from the clothes shop?" I nodded. "Gabriella was right then. I thought she was joking about some guy hitting on you." She pulls me into a quick hug and kisses the side of my head. "So what about Troy?"

"What about him?"

My insides turn at his name. I knew what she was gonna ask before she did it, and I think she knew my response too.

"I have someone else to love now."

"Then I have to say I'm sorry." she says, looking a bit upset.

"Why?"

"I did something really stupid."

I laugh. Her doing something stupid? Who'd have believed it?

"Come on, Shar, what did you do?"

"I gave Troy your book."

I just stared at her like she suddenly grew a pair of antlers. She gave Troy my book? The book I threw away? A thousand questions ran through my mind. But the only one I could concentrate on was the stupidest one ever.

"What did he say about it?"

"He says you're a good writer. And I'm dead jealous that someone else got to read it."

Now wasn't the time to tell her I'd already shown Glynn it, or indeed Troy himself actually saw a bit of it before.

"Was he okay with what I wrote about him?"

To tell you the truth, I was petrified of her answer. What if he got angry with some of the stuff I wrote about him, the descriptions I'd wrote about him, the stuff that I had him doing?

"He loves it Ryan." she laughs quietly. "And I never thought I'd say this but he loves you too."

She starts to walk for the open door, but turns back as she passes through the doorway. "Tell me Ry." And I look up to face her again. "Are you still in love with him?"

I just looked at her. She already knew my answer. But before I could say anything, my mobile rang. I thought it would have been Sharpay's many messages telling me to 'get my phone switched on now', but I was so wrong. The caller id read 'Glynn'.

There's no way I could reply to Sharpay now.


	11. Chapter 11 Night Out

In the original plans for the story, this would have been the second last. Not anymore. While working on the plans for the second part of Ryan's Story, I found that the original parts of this weren't as good as they could be in order to keep the story interesting. So all that's been chucked and a new set of chapters coming in it's place. I hope you'll enjoy the new direction the story is going, it's been fun planning it all out.

* * *

I didn't see Glynn again until the following Thursday. A week without seeing him was torture. But we spoke on the phone, by text, and I even got a funny postcard from him stamped at Ohio.

We'd only been properly seeing each other for one day when he told me he had to go away for a few days. When he called me that night, he'd just found out his grandmother had passed away, so his family was travelling to Ohio for her funeral.

I felt so guilty. He'd been finding out that his grandmother had died while I was talking to Sharpay about still being in love with Troy.

Okay, so I hadn't actually said that in as many words. But my silence told her everything.

The following days at school were hard enough that I couldn't stop thinking about him, without Troy pestering me all day that Thursday. I know he is going through something big, but then again so am I. I am in my first proper relationship ever, and no one will ever ruin that.

Eventually, he gets the point and he stops bothering me. If it was only a week or two before, I'd have snapped him up like a shot, and I know I am being really nasty to him now, but I'm in love with someone else.

Unfortunately Troy doesn't seem to see that.

Over those days my boyfriend – oh, how I love calling him that – was away, I spent most of the time writing. And surprising as it was, I was left alone to do it. Even Sharpay didn't bother me as much as she used to.

My stories got a bit different to what I'd written before. Where once was Troy in the lead place, now was Glynn. I'd come up with an idea that could explain the changes away. I carried on from how I'd last left it, with me and The Doctor seemingly separated for good – I will be getting back to him one day, don't you worry. So this was gonna be set a few months later.

There was a few of us from the battle who'd been stranded in this place, Glynn of course being one of them. I had to include Sharpay. I always like to put her into my stories, and see what happens to her character. Cos she, in reality I mean, is such a ward kind person that not too many people ever get to see. Putting her in the story gives a chance for the other sides of her to be put on show.

I'm thinking maybe about keeping this set of stories Doctor-free, and it could be the relationship that happens between me and Glynn as I try and find a way out of that place.

Thanks to a wonderful idea from Sharpay, and I know you're thinking that she doesn't have them very often, in the end, the Glynn character might actually turn out to be The Doctor himself, having gone through a regeneration since I last saw him. It's such a weird idea and I never thought Shar would have ever come up with something like that.

Of course, my problem with that is how did he, being The Doctor, get there in the first place, why didn't he say anything about who he was, and, surprisingly, what happened to the Troy side of him.

Yeah, I'm confused too. I seriously had no plans to write about Troy ever again. So why did this last part stay on my thoughts for most of the week?

The day Glynn came back, my life brightened again. Sure, we'd talked for hours in between, but that wasn't the same as having him here, being able to see him, hold him, kiss him.

He'd called me during lunch break, and I'd moved from the table with Shar, Gabi, a few others, including a Troy who by this point didn't even look at me anymore, to the empty table beside us. I laughed as Glynn spoke, giggled as he told a few jokes, agreed to his invitation for a few drinks and a small acoustic performance that night with apparently one of his favourite artists.

I hung up after saying 'I love you too', one of the first times I've ever said something like that where there's other people around. It didn't seem like anyone had noticed.

How wrong I was.

It was a nice little place he'd brought me to. Not too small, but not too large either. Cosy. And not too noisy.

Usually in these places, the coffee machines drown out any conversation you're trying to have. Must be why they don't mind having singers here. He just led me to a chair and moved it for me as I sat down.

Clichéd I know, but he really is such a gentleman.

A mocha-chino later, and the singer finally turned up. They'd kept a corner clear for him, and they went about helping him set up with guitars, microphones and everything else.

"Who is this guy?"

"He was on a talent show a few years ago." Glynn said staring at the singer in the corner before finally looking my way again. "Didn't win, but he ended up releasing his own stuff on his own." And he smiled. "I think you'll like his stuff."

It wasn't for another twenty minutes that this guy would finally be starting. Ainslie they called him. Glynn had almost got angry when he noticed on one of the flyers that his name was spelled wrong. Not angry-angry, just annoyed that they couldn't even get his name right.

I'd laughed at the expression on his face. He was so cute when he was playing mad. The smile stayed on my face for another few minutes. It seemed that nothing could get rid of it.

That is until I saw _him_. Actually, I'd heard the girl with him first. No missing that voice. Gabi. And standing next to her, Troy.

My night was ruined.

She came bouncing up to our table, Troy slowly following here, with her usual happy grin on her face. So I'd introduced her, and Troy, to Glynn, expecting them to get the hint I was on a date and disappear.

No luck.

Glynn asked them to join us. I felt like kicking him under the table. Troy just kept looking at me, not saying anything, letting Gabi do all the talking.

They moved the next table over beside ours, and Gabi sat down next to me, still smiling a wide smile, Troy next to Glynn.

He didn't seem fazed by Troy's appearance, and I remembered, I hadn't really told him anything about Troy. I hadn't told my own boyfriend that the guy sitting next to him says he loves me.

Glynn and Gabi spent most of the time talking, and he would occasionally ask Troy something in response to something Gabi had said. Troy just sat there. Every time I would glance at him, he would be staring at me, then quickly turn his head.

It was really beginning to piss me off, but I couldn't exactly interrupt the conversations by telling him to stop staring at me.

By now, the guy with the guitar Ainslie – that name wouldn't stay in my head until Glynn repeated it a few more times - had finally started. Had to admit, he was good.

No one hardly spoke for the next half hour, except to applaud, whistle, and in Glynn's case, a "we love you" as the singer said goodnight. I was still a bit pissed. Troy had kept staring at me when he thought I wasn't looking, and now we only get a thirty minute set when we've been waiting around for ages?

All those drinks had taken its toll on me, and I had to excuse myself to the toilets.

What I hadn't banked on was Troy following after me a few minutes later. He stood at the door, effectively blocking the entrance – or exit – and just looked at me as I approached him.

"What are you playing at coming here tonight Troy?" I practically shouted at him, and I swear he shrunk a little at the level of my voice. "Couldn't you see I was on a date when you walked in?"

He kept his eyes on me, never moving.

"I'm sorry. I heard you on the phone at lunch, and I just had to see you outside of school."

"Troy, don't."

"You haven't spoken to me all week. Every time you see me you turn and run the other way. Every time I try and call you cut me off. Even Sharpay hardly talks to me much anymore."

That hit me, never in a million years had I ever thought my sister would give up on her almost daily flirtation exercises on Troy. Even if he is gay, I would have thought she'd be right in there trying to turn him back.

"Troy, listen to me. I love Glynn. I thought I was in love with you, but I wasn't. It was just some stupid high school crush." I ran my hands through my hair without really realising I was doing it. "He is more than that. What I have with him…"

And he cuts me off as he starts reciting something.

"The Doctor turned around, and it was Troy Bolton. His warm, happy expression, the beautiful face, the soulful eyes, the lips I'd long to kiss."

He was reading me one of the last things I'd written about him before I binned the book – or before Sharpay gave him the book. God, it seems so long ago now.

"Stop it Troy."

But he didn't. He just carried on.

"I know you love me." He said, stepping closer. "And you know how much I love you." He put his hand against my chest. "So why won't you let me be yours."

I jumped back at the touch, and his hand just stayed frozen in the air as I did. He looked so hurt.

"I told you. I'm in love with someone else."

But he still came forward, closer and closer to me until I couldn't move back any further.

"You love me Ry." He said in that way only he can say it. "You've always loved me."

He put his hand against my chest again, and this time, I couldn't move it away. I wanted to, I really wanted to, but I couldn't break away from the touch.

He moved his head in even closer, and I could feel his breath on my face.

"And I love you."

And his lips touched against mine. Gently. For those three seconds, everything I had ever wanted was there. Troy, his kiss, his body against mine.

There was no fourth second.

By the fifth, he was on the floor and my fists were clenched.

I'd pushed him away. I'd broken his kiss, a kiss which he had no right to give, and which I had no right to respond to, and pushed him off me to the ground.

He didn't say anything to me as I walked out the door.

And he didn't say anything else once he'd rejoined the table.

But I did see him in tears as I walked out the coffee shop, arm in arm with Glynn.

Oh God what had I done?


	12. Chapter 12 Callbacks Or Knockbacks?

I am amazed by how many people love this story. Thank yous to you all for your kind comments about it. This is one of the very few stories I have actually put onto the web, and to have so many people like it and beg me for more is just amazin. This chapter is dedicated to you all. I just hope I'm not being boring with the pace of it, the constant references to Doctor Who (which I've noticed declining over the previous chapters), and Ryan's constant back and forth between his feelings for Troy. I know this can be a bit annoying, but it's something I've felt so many times with regards to my feelings for people.

As with prevous chapters, nothing that is said in a bad way is any reflection of me or my feelings, and is purely for artistic reasoning. Hope you enjoy, as this is the chapter where things start to change. And possibly not in a good way.

* * *

I was really dreading going to school that day. I just knew that it would be horrible. And on the day of the callbacks too, the one day I should be ecstatic. There was no way I could face up to what I'd done last night, I knew Gabi would be in my face about doing that to Troy. I knew Troy would be in my face again, telling me he loves me, trying to kiss me again.

Okay, so I didn't really know that. But a small part – a tiny, miniature part – wanted it so badly, craved the attention he was giving me, needing the heat that I feel from him every time I'm near him.

I would love to be with him, but that scenario has two main problems with it: the first, I don't know if I'd be able to trust him. He's gone through so many girlfriends at that school, and while I know liking guys is new to him, I know that he would never be satisfied with just me.

I would be too terrified of losing him to anyone else that I'd never be able to keep calm around him, worried that he looks at the guy walking passed thinking 'he's hot' and slink off to snog him round the back of the school.

Then there's number two. The important one. My boyfriend. The guy who keeps me awake at night on the phone or texting. The guy who loves me for me, the guy who keeps me sane, and the guy who is very quickly becoming a number one character in my stories.

The guy who whispers sweet words to me as he kisses me. The guy who knows I'm not ready yet to go farther than just kissing. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just so nervous about my first time that I want it to be perfect.

Okay, I refuse for this to turn into a mushy tale of me not ready to sleep with my boyfriend.

But as I said earlier, my stories are becoming more and more involved around Glynn and me. Which, to be fair, is so much better than having stories where I moon over Troy all the time.

Before I went to bed last night, I started work on another new one, this time with a new twist I haven't written about before, different to what I'd thought about writing the other day.

I'm still stuck – or I should say my character – on that different world with survivors from the big battle. Glynn is a member of the army that was in the midst of it all. And after a few weeks of setting roots on this new world, we find what seems to be The Doctor's time machine.

Now I know that you're thinking this is a story to get me back with The Doctor, but it's not. At least, not with what I have in mind just now. Eventually we'd use the machine to travel through time, and find out that the place we're on is actually Earth, but in the far future.

The Doctor had managed to save us by sending us into the future.

I know I'm not explaining it very good, but my plans are for it to be a love story between me and Glynn, travelling through time, seeing things that The Doctor showed me, and eventually us too becoming more than just lovers, with the time machine actually merging us into one being, a new spin on the whole "when you're in love, you're like one person" thing.

But now's not the time to be working on that, cos now I have to put up with the honking horn from Sharpay's car, telling me to move my ass or we'll be late for school, and most importantly to get the extra ten minutes of practice time to go over our stuff for the call-backs that afternoon.

And like I said, I am in no mood for today. 

Today hasn't actually been as bad as I thought. For the first time in ever, I have convinced Sharpay to actually let me perform on my own for the callbacks coming up shortly. You should have seen her face in the car when I told her.

But then, she understood why I wanted to do this, and she can be so helpful when she sees how much it would mean to me.

The day had actually turned out to be so different that what I was expecting. I was completely wrong about Troy going to try it on with me again. In fact, he completely avoided me. He wouldn't look at me during class, which I am so grateful for, because if I saw those puppy eyes again, I knew I would just want to hug him and tell him I am so sorry for what I did the night before.

You're probably working out that I am a very complex guy. I want Troy, but I want him to keep away too. Sharpay calls me a psychiatrist's dream patient.

Yeah, Troy ignores me all day. Even at lunch, he sits at a different table. And the strange thing – no one even questioned why.

Shows people in our school don't really care much about anyone but themselves.

So it's now almost time for the callbacks. Sometimes, I don't even know why Darbus bothers. I know she always puts me and Shar up there at the top of the play – except with Twinkle Towne of course. I guess that's why she's doing the callbacks properly this time, cos you never know just who has unheard talent in them.

I'm at my locker just having changed into the suit I'll be wearing during my first solo performance. I hate to think it's important to what happens next so I'll skimp on the descriptions on the clothes.

I sense him behind me a long time before he said anything. He was just standing there, eyes burning a hole into my new clothes, the first time I actually see him look my way today.

"You look good Ry."

Inside I don't really know what I was feeling. Suffice to say, it seemed like embarrassment, joy and guilt.

"Don't Troy, please."

"I don't blame you, you know, for last night." He didn't move. He was like a statute, still as could be. "I know that you are seeing Glynn, it wasn't fair of me to try and kiss you like that."

"I'm sorry, Troy. I shouldn't have done what I did."

And it was now that he moved. Not too much, just enough to make him still appear to be alive.

"I just don't know what to do anymore. I am in love with someone who is wonderful, kind, amazing." It was hard for me to stay straight-faced and not interrupt him to stop. "And I thought he felt the same way."

"I did Troy." He seemed to perk up slightly hearing that. "I really did. But I was so hurt by what you said and did after that night we kissed, and Glynn helped me through it." I knew I was about to dig myself in deeper here, but right now, I felt I owed him the truth. "I seriously thought you hated me for what I was. He helped the real me surface again." And I looked him in the eyes. "I love him."

And in those three words, Troy finally understood.

He didn't say anything for a minute or two. He just stood there watching me. And I was pathetic enough to do the same.

"I better go Troy. I'm on in a few minutes."

I closed my locker door, finally taking my eyes off of him. You have no idea how hard that was.

"I hope he's good to you." He said as I took a few steps away.

I just smiled back.

"He is."

"Troy, come on man, are you doing this singing or not." Chad called out from behind me. I turned, and his eyes dropped on me like they would always do. "What's up? The little poof getting your way?"

He laughed slightly, his eyes finally going to Troy. I hated being called that word. Those words he would always call me… but at least I would never let him see the effect they had on me.

"Don't call him that." Troy said finally. I just looked at him.

"What? He is a poof." Chad laughed again, but Troy certainly wasn't.

"I said don't call him that Chad."

"And why not Troy? He deserves it."

My eyes kept going back and forth between them. God, how I wanted to just get away from there.

"Because if you call him that, then you better call me it too?"

Huh? I couldn't form a proper thought in my head. Did he really just say that?

"What you on about?" Chad asked a bit confused. "You saying you're a fag?"

Troy got in his face.

"Yeah. And if you ever use that word again, this fag will kick your head in."

I was still dumbstruck. But then, the same could be said about Chad. He took a few steps back, touched his neck, seemingly very uncomfortable.

"You're a poof?" He started walking backwards quickly. "You're a fucking dirty poof."

And then he was off, running out of the door down the corridor. Probably too worried about Troy hitting him. But truthfully, I really didn't think that was the reason. Well, it's not everyday you find out your best friend is gay.

I turned back to Troy, and he was in tears.

I was heartbroken. What should I do? Should I hold him, tell him it was okay? Should I go get someone? I didn't know what to do. Trust me to pick the dumbest thing.

"Troy, are you…"

I never got to finish asking him if he was alright. He took off in the opposite direction to Chad, and never looked back.

Some day this had turned out to be.

There was no way I would be able to perform my song properly now.


	13. Chapter 13 Unlucky For Some

As promised, the chapter of change. It gets slightly dark for the next few chapters. Please don't hate me for what's done at the end of this - it's done for a reason. If you hate the idea after you've read it, trust me when I say this won't be the end. Just the begining. All the rest of the chapters have mostly been written (or at least fully plotted out), so it's too late to change things now - not that I would. I feel so strongly about what is coming up, and I hope you understand why it will be done.

Thanks again for all your wonderful comments. I'm liking how most of you have the idea of what will happen before I've even shown you it yet.

* * *

I knew kids could be cruel, but I certainly wasn't expecting the cruelty I witnessed on Monday morning.

This is one of the worst few days of my life, so it's fitting that I write this on chapter 13, a very unlucky number for most. Sometimes, the memories of these days are just too much, I can't talk about them too much without breaking down in tears. So this will be a quick part, mainly to avoid me going through twenty boxes of tissues and crying on Shar's shoulder for two days.

That weekend went so slow. Even being with Glynn didn't make it go any faster. Not that I wanted it to, of course. I certainly wasn't looking forward to today.

I knew Chad would have told people about what had happened on Friday, but somehow, I really wasn't expecting it to be as bad as it was.

And I felt so guilty.

For thinking about myself.

For the first part of that day, all I could think about was how bad everyone was treating me. Poof, fag, queer. You name it, I got called it. Even Sharpay couldn't help stop the abuse I was getting.

But Troy was getting it worse.

I'd heard the whispers as I'd walked into school with Shar. 'The ice queen's brother is shagging the captain of the basketball team', 'you heard the poof and Troy got caught doing stuff in the boys toilets', and possibly the worst one, 'the drama queen raped Troy and now Troy thinks he's gay'.

From what I saw at lunch, Troy was getting it ten times worse.

And I just worried about myself.

He looked at me when me and Shar walked into the lunch room, and all the voices turned to whispers and quiet taunts. And I couldn't meet his eyes.

And in that moment, I'd known what I'd done.

A typical Evans, always thinking about themselves.

I'd left Troy to deal with it on his own.

Of course though, he had Gabriella permanently attached to his arm, fielding off the abuse and hurtling back her own when people started referring to her as 'Bolton's little fag-hag'.

But I couldn't go to him. No matter how much I wanted to just tell him it would be okay. That people would need time to get used to it.

But I just couldn't.

Because still I felt guilty for myself. I'd caused this. If I hadn't talked to Troy yesterday, if I hadn't fought with him at the Ainslie gig, if I hadn't knocked him back when he told me he was in love with me, if I hadn't wrote those stupid things about it.

But when it came down to it, all I could think of was this:

If only I hadn't fallen in love with him.

Troy never came in on the Tuesday. No one could really blame him. All day yesterday, everyone kept slagging him off, taunting him, and a few even proposing themselves to him, offering to let him 'suck them off' or 'go somewhere quiet', but all in the name of taking the piss out of him.

I'd tried to call him the night before to see if he was okay. Stupid of me, I know. He wasn't okay. A blind and deaf person could tell he wasn't doing okay.

When Thursday came around and Troy still hadn't returned, I was beginning to seriously freak out.

I wanted to help him. I wanted to let him know that things really would get better.

Okay, so not exactly back to way things were if my experiences were anything to go by. I mean, I still get beaten up every so often and still get called all the horrid things under the sun. But it's still so much better than what it used to be.

So after school, I went along to the basketball courts, careful to keep out of the way of any of the players. I totally couldn't handle anything from them today, especially not Chad.

If I saw him again, I could quite literally kill him. That's how angry I felt towards him. And I've never felt like that for anyone before.

I hid out in his office until after the game. It was so weird being in such a personal space. Especially cos that space was littered with memories of Troy.

Cups and ribbons they had won, pictures of the team, uniforms, Troy's presence was everywhere.

And then I saw the smashed photograph on the table. It was him and his father, obviously taken after a game with Troy still in his red t-shirt and shorts. His father had such a huge smile on his face, and in that image I could see the admiration and respect and love he had for his son.

I'd hate to think why the frame had a large smash in the middle of it.

I didn't hear his foot steps approaching until I heard him cough, and when I turned around, he had a horrible look on his face.

"What are you doing in here?"

I lost all meaning of speech as I heard the gruffness and venom in his voice.

"I, uh. I was wondering how Troy is." I finally got out.

The look on his face changed, and I swear he got even more angrier in as much time as it took for him to take the three steps to tower over me at the table.

"Haven't you caused my son enough trouble?"

His tall form made me squirm as he kept his glaring eyes on me.

"I just want to know if he's okay."

"You just want to know if he's okay?" he repeated and the loudness of his voice grew with each word. "Because of you, every one is against my son. All the teasing he received, all the fighting, everything is because of you."

"Did he tell you…?" I couldn't finish before he butted in.

"What? That he supposedly loves you? You put all these stupid thoughts into his head. And look at what it did to him."

He finally moved away from me, and circled around to his chair. But he didn't sit down, he just gripped the top of it.

"I didn't do anything." I said as he moved away.

"Don't you dare give me that. Because of you…" and he faltered in his words. "because of you my son took a razor blade to his wrists…"

Anything else he said after that just went over my head. Troy had done what? Cut his wrists? Tears were in my eyes and flowing down my face before I knew it.

"Is he…?" I squeaked out, I couldn't even say the word. There was no way it was true.

There was no way Troy could have done it. Not even after all that had happened. Troy just wasn't the type to do that to himself.

"You didn't deserve to be in my son's life."

And in that sentence was all the truth I needed. He'd used the past tense. Troy... was dead?

I didn't know what to do. My legs felt like jelly, and I swear I was about to throw up. I staggered slightly as I made it to the door, and as I was about to carry on, he said something else.

Something which even to this day still haunts me.

"Because of you I no longer have a son."

Once I was out of the gym, I fell and crumpled up into a ball.

All that kept going through my mind were the words 'because of you'.

It was my fault. It was all my fault.

When I eventually I pulled myself together, I did the only stupid thing that came into my mind.

I went to Glynn's and asked him to take me away somewhere.


	14. Chapter 14 Hotel Dreams

I think this will be my most emotional chapter yet before the big explosion next chapter. I was gonna end it on a different cliffhanger to tease you's into waiting a week until I get back from my holiday away next week, but the chapter got beyond my 2000 words limit I try to place on chapters I've decided to keep it for chapter 15, and given you this version instead. Like I said in the last chapter, this and the next one are chapters about change, and I hope that once the next one is posted in a week or so, you will understand why it has been done like this.

While I'm away, I'll be working on the continuation of this story beyond what was originally written, carrying on from something Ryan will say in the epilogue (probably gonna be posted in chapter 18 or 19). I'll also be thinking about a continuation for that, since I've had an idea that I think will go really good to complete the story as a trilogy.

I hope you'll give it a chance, especially with how this chapter seems to be an ending of certain things. But as I said before. This is just the beginning.

The final parts of this chapter are based on ideas and lines from Doctor Who's season two final "Doomsday" - the same episode Ryan and Troy watched the night of the kiss.

* * *

There was a thousand things going through my head when I proposed to Glynn to take me away somewhere, ranging from terrible sadness all the way up to guilt. 

For that whole night, my face wore a mask. I never mentioned anything that had happened. I never broke down and cried.

I just kept a fake smile on my face for him.

But all I could think about was that, in an indirect way, I had killed Troy.

I had to get away from this place, just for a while. Let me get my head clear. So when I asked Glynn to take me away, he agreed.

He did try to put me off the idea at the start. I'd miss school, my family might be worried, spending our first night together in a strange place, am I sure I'm ready.

Yes, I wanted him. But all my mind was on Troy.

Yes, I felt really bad, and still do these many years later, for using Glynn as a means to get my mind off of the problems, but what better way to forget about your troubles when you're spending the night loving and being loved by one of the most perfect people in the world.

So Glynn booked a wonderful hotel room for us.

As he drove me back to mine to pick up some clothes and stuff, not only was my thoughts still tangled up over Troy, but how I was gonna explain my absence to both my parents, and my sister.

Luckily, none of them were there when we got to the house.

Only Sharpay had met Glynn before, on one of the two times he's actually been here. As she said to me after he'd left, 'he's a fox' and 'if he goes straight, I want him'.

I still laugh slightly hearing her saying that. Then my mind goes back to the image of Troy, blood oozing out of his cut wrists, lying dead on his bed, and my stomach churns again.

I've eventually managed to get a small back packed in the midst of the forbidden kissing Glynn's been giving me the last ten minutes or so. He says he felt very uncomfortable kissing me when he knows Sharpay could be outside the door listening, and now that no one is around, he is able to touch me without fear of being caught.

We're on our way down the stairs, Glynn carrying my bag and my arms wrapped around his waist, a letter to my parents in between both hands, when the front door opens.

God, I can't even come home for ten minutes with him without being interrupted.

"What's with the bag?" Shar asks before she's even halfway through the door.

"We're going away for the night." Glynn says before I can respond.

"Well I hope you've packed enough to last the whole night." She says after a brief pause.

He laughs and breaks away from me, saying he'll put my bag in the car. Once he's out of earshot, Sharpay comes up to me and whispers.

"Do mom and dad know you're staying out?"

I hand the letter to her, and she holds it between her right thumb and index finger, like it might burn her.

"They will once they read that."

"Ry, this isn't like you just to take off like this. What's happened?"

I wanted to tell her. I really did. I so didn't want her to find out from anyone else. But how could I say it? 'Oh, nothing much except the guy I loved killed himself cos of me and I can't think of anything that will get him out my head other than shagging my boyfriend.' I don't think so.

"It's just everything over the last few weeks. I can't cope with it any more Shar. And Glynn loves me and I want him to… you know… make love to me."

My mind was telling me now to shut up before I got in any deeper. But I wasn't paying attention to it. All I could focus on was the image of Troy. And the thoughts that kept running around my head that if I hadn't lied to him in the first place about seeing Glynn, none of this would have happened. And he wouldn't be dead.

Sharpay kept her gaze on me, squinting her eyes slightly.

"There's more than that, isn't there?" she whispered. "Has Troy tried to talk to you, is that why you're running away?"

"I'm not running away Shar." I said a bit too loudly, and I wondered briefly if Glynn had heard that from outside. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't stop lying.

"Yes you are. You spoke to Troy, didn't you? He's told you that he still loves you and he wants to see you. So you're leaving before he comes over. That's it, isn't it?"

Her words were cutting me up inside. I just snapped. I had to get it out.

"Troy hasn't spoken to me. And he won't ever again." I took a breath. "Troy's dead."

"To you, maybe… but…" She started before I cut her off. She didn't get it, did she?

"No Shar, he's really dead." And I lost most of the bravado that kept me going all that day. "He killed himself."

Sharpay shrunk to her knees. I followed her down, and tried to hug her in a not-hugging her kind of way. I couldn't lose it anymore.

"His dad told me after school." I choked out a tear. "He told me it was cos of me."

And I held her for what was probably only thirty seconds. It felt so longer.

Glynn appeared back at the door, and asked something like 'are you ready?' To be honest, I really couldn't focus much.

"Yeah." I replied, and he disappeared again back to the car.

I got up, practically peeling Sharpay off me, and headed to follow him.

"You can't go." She almost screamed, still stuck in that position on the floor.

As I looked back at her, she looked like a little kid again, the little sister I once knew when she would cry for hours because she broke a nail. God, how time can change a person. I really wouldn't have thought Shar to get so emotional like this again. But then, as I realised later, I really wasn't in the proper state of mind to think about things.

"I'm sorry Shar."

She moved slightly, almost trying to reach an arm out to me but never managing to start the movement.

"But Ryan…"

"I _have_ to Shar."

And I could tell she really understood. I wasn't going away to spend the night making love with my boyfriend. I wasn't going away to hurt her.

I was going away to try and forget the pain she knew I was in.

"Do you want a drink or anything?"

Glynn was over at his bag, pulling out a bottle of wine, or gin, or some kind of thing I knew he brought along to try and make the night that much more perfect.

I just lay there under the covers, almost naked except for my boxers, staring at the ceiling.

I'd tried, god I really did try to be able to let him make love to me, but as we'd started kissing, and things started to get hot between us, I'd had to break it off. Every time he touched my lips, I felt Troy. Every time he ran a hand over my body, I felt Troy.

Every time I heard him breathe, I felt troy.

I really couldn't do this.

"I'm really sorry." I said again, for what seemed like the millionth time.

I felt Glynn sit back down on top of the covers. He'd had his t-shirt on again, and had a glass of whatever it was in the bottle in his hand.

"It's okay. I was nervous my first time too." He still didn't know the truth. "Wanna talk about what's bothering you?"

There was no way I could tell him. Not now.

"I'm so sorry." I repeated.

I told him I was scared, nervous, terrified, anything that was not the truth that came into my mind.

Eventually, he suggested that we go to sleep. Just sleep. And would see how I felt in the morning.

No pressure, no forcing me, I felt so bad for using him like this.

I knew I'd only been asleep for an hour when I felt the dream. I heard a voice, and it was calling my name.

In the dream, I was in the Tardis – the Doctor's time machine – with him nowhere in sight. I was alone. The voice was telling me 'home'. And I felt the ship move, travelling backwards or forwards in time from wherever I was, and I saw from the monitor that outside was my house.

The ship had brought me home.

I opened the doors, and it was sunny, I mean really sunny. My home was covered in an almost pure yellow glow, and everything around me was pulsing with an orangey-yellow colour.

I felt him before I saw him emerge from the yellow light. He was almost see-through, I swear I could see my house through his chest. The Doctor.

Or rather, _my_ Doctor.

My Doctor Troy

"Where are you?" Stupid question.

"In another place. There's a tiny little gap in the world that's letting me cross through like this. And it take's a lot of power to do this I needed the Tardis to draw from it."

I stared at him. I was frozen in the spot.

"You look like a ghost." Another stupid thing to say. Cos even though in this dream, I knew he was dead.

"Hold on." He said, and he raised his arms up above his head, before I heard the noise of the time machine get louder and brighter.

After a few seconds, he faded into his normal-looking self. The image of my Doctor Troy. He moved closer to me, stopping a few steps away.

"Can I touch you?" At last, a decent question to ask, or at least I thought so as I started raising my hand to his arm.

"I'm just an image." And my hand fell back to my side. "No touch."

I didn't know how I knew it, but I knew I was running out of time. I think it was the lights growing even brighter that made me realise it.

"Can't you come through properly?"

"I'm not allowed to. The world's would be destroyed."

"So?" And he laughed. The Troy Bolton laugh that I'd only ever seen him use when he was over at mine that first night. The night he kissed me.

The lights are still getting brighter, and I'm terrified.

"How long have we got?"

He quickly looks behind him at the light from my house and then back to me.

"About two minutes."

And I collapse to the ground, and I'm reminded of how Sharpay was crouched earlier. When I left her. All alone. I suddenly felt even more terrible.

He crouches down beside me, close enough to almost lean against me.

"It's not enough time." I feel the tears already on my face as I look back to him. "What am I gonna do without you?"

"You've got the Tardis." He says raising his arm to point to it, and I follow the gaze to it. I see Glynn standing in the doorway. And for a second, I wonder if he may be referring to him instead. "The ship that will take you anywhere and take care of you."

And by then, he really was meaning Glynn.

"I don't want the Tardis. Not if I can't have you." I stop to wipe at the tears. "I love you so much."

His colour flickers slightly. It goes dark, then light, then dark and light again so quickly.

"Quite right to." And he laughs again, and I can't help but laugh too. "And if it's my last chance to say it…"

He moves his hand to my cheek, just hovering above actual contact. I swear I could feel the warmth.

"Don't leave me." I said, trying more than ever to sense the heat from him.

"Ryan Evans…" And the light gets so bright, I can't see him anymore. "I love…"

He never finished the words.

A second later, I shot upright in bed, shouting his name. Totally forgetting about the guy sleeping beside me. Or the guy beside me who was previously sleeping, and was now looking at me with a look on his face that expressed everything.

I'd just shouted out Troy's name in front of my boyfriend.


	15. Chapter 15 How Do I Explain?

I had such a good today, I decided to do a little modification to the story, and post this (slightly shorter) chapter. It was originally much longer, but it also seemed to lack the realism that I try to have. So I changed it, and the rest of the chapter will be getting rewritten at some point when I'm away. I hope you enjoy this, it is getting almost to the point where reading reviews makes me want to change the story every which way to please everyone.

But this was always the plan I had in mind months ago when I first started working on this. And I hope you like what is coming up.

See you's in a week.

* * *

I sat in silence and watched, as Glynn just stared at me for the most increasingly uncomfortable amount of time. 

I half expected him to start shouting straight away, going on about how I woke up screaming out another guys name. But he didn't. He looked more hurt than anything else.

Bet you thought this chapter was gonna be about him being violent?

You are so wrong.

As it turns out, over my life, I have only met a few people as warm and sensitive as Glynn, and an even fewer number to be so understanding with these sort of things.

Finally, he turns away. I don't know what it was he was looking at, but I finally felt so relieved that his stare wasn't on me.

"Are you okay?" he asks me quietly, his eyes still focusing on something else in the other corner of the room.

"I had a bad dream." I say a bit too quickly. A lie of course. That dream was so powerful and moving, I'm surprised I'm not crying about it.

"You said his name."

And he turned back to look at me, his face full of hurt, sadness, and a range of other emotions I can't really describe.

"I'm sorry."

It was all I could say. I had apologised so many times over the last day, the words seemed so familiar to me. I knew he was getting sick of hearing them.

"You don't have to keep saying that." He whispered softly. "Just tell me what's wrong."

I reached for his hand, and he let me hold it. He never pulled away like I expected him to.

"I love you."

"But?" he said, rubbing a finger against the back of my hand.

"But something happened. Before I met you. Me and Troy…" Those words were so foreign to me. There was never a me and Troy. "I used to be so madly in love with him. My stories and stuff. They were always about him."

"Is that why you wouldn't let me read any of them?"

It was part of the reason, yeah. The other was fear. Fear of being laughed at. Being teased about it. About being so madly in love with someone I filled so many books about him.

In the end, I just agreed.

"He found out. He read one of the books when I wasn't there." I paused at the memory. That night has embedded itself right into my memory, that I would never forget about what happened. "I told him I liked him, and he kissed me. But he ignored me after that."

And I told him all about me always trying to talk to him, his basketball buddies always telling me to piss off, finally getting to talk to him, and the words he said to me.

And I started crying like a stupid little girl.

He pulled me into him, and held me, our hands still covering each other's. I was feeling so guilty about what I was about to tell him next, but I had to tell the truth. It's been bottled up inside me for so long, I have to come clean and be honest for once.

"The day I started going out with you, he told me that he loved me. I told him I was already seeing someone." And as if I needed to explain further, added "You."

I could feel him stiffen up at hearing this, and I really did think he was gonna throw a hissy fit.

"Why did you say that to him?" Glynn whispered so softly.

"I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to think that I'd gotten over him and moved on."

He rubbed my head.

"But you weren't? You still loved him didn't you?"

I couldn't say the word. He felt me nod my head.

"People at school found out he was gay." I chilled at the memory. "They made his life hell. He never came back the next day." And I was really crying now. "His dad told me a few days later that he'd cut his wrists…"

I pulled away from him and stared him in those big blue eyes.

"Troy's dead, Glynn." And I continued the tears. "And it's my fault."

He held me again. We sat like that for almost an hour. Nothing more was said. Nothing moved. Time stood still in that room.

Eventually, I told him about the dream. How I felt inside, even when I knew it was just an illusion. A stupid thing my subconscious created to try and help.

And I told I felt it was real.

And he agreed.

He drove me home later that day. Our once romantic night together was no more. Because of me and my feelings of guilt, I had ruined it.

Like I ruin everything else. 

He helped me with my bag, walking slowly beside me as we headed for the front door.

"What's gonna happen to us?"

I'd put off the question for so long, that I knew if I didn't ask it, I knew he could just disappear out of my life without so much a goodbye. I knew he wouldn't really, something about him is just so pure and good, I knew he wouldn't do that to me.

He'd obviously been expecting the question too.

"I love you, Ryan." He glanced at me. "I really do. And I know you've been through a lot with Troy and that, but I don't know if I can play second string." He stopped walking and stood solid in one spot. "I want to be with you, but I think you need some time to yourself. Then after, if you still want to be with me, you know where I'll be."

He handed me my bag, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. In some ways, it really did feel like a goodbye kiss. I really hoped I was wrong.

He disappeared into his car and faded out of sight before I carried on moving to the door.

Just as I was reaching for the handle, it pulled away from me, and Sharpay stood in the frame. She no longer looked like the child I had last seen her like. Her make up was perfect, her eyes were bright, almost like nothing that happened yesterday had took place.

"Why haven't you been answering your phone?" I stalled as I realised it was in my bag. I'd switched it off when I left here last night, and hadn't even given it another thought. "I've been leaving you messages all day."

"Why, what's wrong?"

Her face lit up, and for a moment I was worried. Her eyes glistened as she pulled me into the house.

"You're really stupid sometimes, Ry." She said, a bit too offensively. "Sometimes a rumour is just a rumour."

And for those few seconds before it happened, I wondered what she meant.

A rumour is just a rumour?

It was then that it walked out of the kitchen. Dressed in a red shirt and navy blue jeans, a dazzling combination I'd ever seen on anyone, let alone him.

And then I fainted.

It was probably the only thing I really could have done. I mean, did they expect me to stand there, and smile maybe, or run and hug him?

God, that second of my life before I passed out, I really thought I had died and gone to heaven.

Because standing there, in that red shirt and navy blue jeans combo, was a smile from ear to ear of the last person I'd expected to see.

My Doctor.

Troy.

Can you blame me for fainting?


	16. Chapter 16 Wake Up Time

Well my holiday is almost over. Only one more full day before I return on Sunday. I hardly got anything done that I wanted, but I've had fun, and that's the main thing.

Theres a reason that this is starting with a 'Doctor Who'-style opening. I was gonna have this chapter originally as a whole dream sequence after Ryan had fainted and end with him waking up and seeing troy. I'd planned out the whole thing, but when I'd actually written most of it out, it didn't fit in with the tone of the last few chapters, and the chapters to come - plus, it made it seem more like a doctor who story, not a ryan story.

The intention here is The Doctor in some way telling Ryan to give him up, in both the stories and ryan's own reality. I dont think it's made that clear yet, but then, Ryan may have more dreams like this, or write about this and come to realise this. Thats the plan anyway, who knows if Ill actually stick to that. So much has changed from the original plan that the story doesnt even resemble it anymore.

The song Ryan mentions is 'Song For Ten' from the Doctor Who episode 'The Christmas Invasion' and soundtrack album. It's quite catchy and (in my opinion) tells of the love the Doctor has for his companion. It may be used in an upcoming chapter so have a listen to it. Troy's song isn't written completely, as I don't like doing sonfics. I feel it takes something away from the story. But is included here mainly to get what happens to happen. Plus, it has a line that fits Ryan's descriptions of being left by the Doctor.

And please don't bite my head off for ending this chapter like it is.

* * *

The sound of the Tardis hummed around me. It was sounding different to normal, almost as if it was 'sick'. Now that could be true. After all, this time machine is alive. 

That's what The Doctor always says.

He once took me to this place where he said the Tardis needed to 'eat'. We'd left it parked by this strange building, and let it soak up energy from what he said was a rift in time and space.

But now The Doctor's gone, and I have no idea how to refuel this machine.

I never even learned how to fly the ship. It was always The Doctor showing off for me, and of course me being a stupid hormonal kid, I just watched him with the love that I had for him.

He told me once that if anything were ever to happen to him, I should just let this machine die. I was to let it become a strange little thing standing on some street corner where over the years the world would move on and the box would be buried.

But I couldn't. Not now. This machine was my last link to The Doctor.

The Tardis burped again, and over in the corner, a door opened.

I'd never seen this door before. Had it always been there? Had the Tardis kept it's identity hidden from outsiders?

There was a bright light inside, but I could see one tiny little thing inside move.

I felt his presence before I heard him. Unmistakably, it was my Doctor Troy.

"What are you doing here?" he said softly.

"I like it here." I said, staring into the white room. "I feel safe here."

"The Tardis needs to eat. And you need to leave it." He whispered. "You need to go outside."

And for some reason, I knew something that I hadn't known before. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was telling me to do what he said, despite my own better judgement.

"I can't. It's too difficult out there without you."

I felt him move closer, and I could finally see him. My beautiful Troy.

"That's where I am. Out there. Waiting for you. You just have to wake up and see that."

"Wake up?"

And I heard him say it over and over, many times and in different voices too.

And then, I did. I woke up.

Sharpay was crouched down kneeling beside me, and Troy was on my right, his hand rubbing at my shoulder.

My head was a bit sore as I lay there flat on my back. It took a minute for me to work everything out. My brain can be a bit slow like that.

I'd come back from a disastrous trip away with Glynn. I'd walked in, and Sharpay had said something about rumours or whatever. Then I'd seen him.

So the Tardis never happened.

_Of course it never happened, _my subconscious said. _Doctor Who is made up. This is real life._

And I felt a slap inside my head, shaking me out of the thoughts of the dream. Or whatever it was.

Do people dream when they faint?

Troy was still rubbing at my shoulders as I sat up with Sharpay's help. For that minute since I woke up until right then, he never moved his hand away. And it felt good.

So good that I started crying.

'Stupid cry-baby' I knew Shar wanted to say. But she never did.

"I heard you thought I was dead?" Troy asked, a half smile on his lips.

He wasn't teasing the way he said it. Something in his voice showed that he was so pent up with worry.

"Your dad told me you cut your wrists. That he'd lost his son. That it was my…"

He shushed me with a finger to my lips.

"I'll tell you everything," he moved the finger away, "but first I just have to do one thing."

He took his hand from my shoulder, and for a second I thought he was gonna get up and move away. But he never moved.

Instead, he put both his hands to my face and brought his lips in against mine.

No tongues, no force, just lips against lips. Softly.

"A little warning next time Troy." I heard Sharpay say as I felt her move away from my side. "That's not exactly something I wanna see."

He held my hand as I sat next to him, and unlike all the other times we'd been close like this, I let him. I couldn't push him away like I had before.

This was Troy. My Troy, and he was alive.

To this day, I still can't believe I sat there and cried. Relief, of course, was the main part of it.

Love was the rest of it.

When he broke away from me, he laughed at Sharpay's little outburst. He didn't say anything to her, he just took my hand and kissed the back of it.

That was five minutes ago.

Five minutes of just sitting there at the dinner table, holding his hand, just staring at him. He'd promised me an explanation, and he didn't let me down on that.

Now, I just sat there, gazing into his eyes.

"I'm sorry Troy."

The words came out of the blue, and I could tell he certainly wasn't expecting me to say them.

"Sorry for what?"

"For falling in love with you." I felt him squeeze my hand tighter. "If you hadn't read that book…"

The old writing book. The one full of stories about him. About him being My Doctor.

"Do you remember what I said that night?" He smiled softly. Of course I did. How could I forget? "I told you to never apologise for being you."

I laughed slightly, considering he got it wrong.

"No you didn't."

"Well, I should have." And he gave me another smile. "I told you I loved those stories. I wasn't lying Ryan. I don't know what gives you the imagination you have, but I love being part of them." He looked down at our joined hands. "And I'm hoping maybe one day they could become reality."

He looked up at me again, a sly grin had plastered itself to his face.

I felt myself getting hot, so I quickly changed the subject.

"You never told me what song you were gonna do for the callbacks." Okay, so it was the first thing that came into my mind.

"I've missed my chance, so it really doesn't matter much. I'll keep it for next time."

"Oh come on Troy." I pouted, hoping it would work. "I'll tell you what one I was gonna do."

And he looked at me a bit funny.

"You didn't sing?"

"I couldn't. Not after what had happened. I was so worried about you, I couldn't go up there and do that." I rubbed his fingers. "See what you do to me Bolton? Sharpay nearly had a fit when I said I couldn't do it."

"Okay." He smiled. "You first."

"Do you remember that song from the Doctor Who album I put on? Song For Ten?"

He seemed to freeze and think at that moment.

"Yeah, I see why you didn't want to sing that. You don't exactly wish that day would have happened everyday." He said, misquoting a line from the song.

"I was gonna sing it for you. I mean…" I blushed. "Well, it's not everyday you find someone who likes a show as much as you do. I wanted to see your smile when you realised what it was."

"You would have got more than a smile." He said back as he leaned over and kissed me softly.

And then an instant later it was over.

"So come on, what were you gonna do?"

"Well, it was gonna be another S Club one." He must have seen the look on my face at the mention of them. "I would have told you before I went up, to let you prepare."

I'm surprised he would have. Even Sharpay still takes the piss out of me for being head over heels in love with that pop group that split up over three years ago.

You'd think I should be over them by now…

"What one was it?"

"You know the one Let Me Sleep?"

And then, I had a thought. I know I'd probably regret it, but I had to.

"Sing it for me?"

It came out more as a question than a request, and for a moment, I thought he would refuse. That is until he let go of my hand and stood up, stepping back from the table and into the middle of the dining room.

"Shadows on the wall forming outlines of your face."

He sang so beautifully. His body moved to the tune of the invisible music I knew he heard in his head.

"I reach out to touch you through time and through space."

He extended his arm, and I stood up to grab it. In my mind, I saw him as I'd seen him so many times in my dreams. He was my Doctor. And I knew he must have chosen this song for that reference he knew I would get.

"In my dreams I'm always with you."

He never got to finish the song.

He pulled me into his arms, a warm, tight hug, and kissed for god knows how long.

I led him up to my room, and closed the door from any interruptions – mainly Sharpay.

Make from that what you will, but I'm not saying anything more about what happened after that. We may have just left it at that, or it might have went farther. Troy did stay the night, but nothing on this world will make me tell you what, if anything, happened behind that closed door.


	17. Chapter 17 A Quickie From Troy

This was an incredibly difficult chapter to write, as for me to write, I have to get into the head of the character, and suicidal Troy wasn't something I was quite prepared to visit again. Some of Troy's thoughts reflect mine when I was 16 and just outed. I can't say I had the same experiences as mentioned in this chapter, and I never did actually try to kill myself, but it brought back unhappy memories of the thoughts I used to have about it.

I tried to write it differently as the other chapters, cos I thought if this is from Troy, his writing style would be different to Ryan's since Troy isn't a writer, so any style changes and grammar errors are intentional.

Thanks to all who keep reviewing this story. I'm glad you continue to enjoy it. It makes me think I'm doing my job to entertain properly.

* * *

Never in my life did I think I would ever try to kill myself. 

But then never did I think I would fall in love with a guy, so I can be wrong about things.

Going into school that Monday after Chad found out was torture. As soon as I walked through the main door, all eyes turned to me. I heard the whispers straight away. And I knew the abuse that Ryan had to put up with all the time.

Now it was my turn.

Ryan never looked at me during any of the classes we were in. He just stuck by Sharpay, letting her field off the comments that were said. Gabriella stuck to my arm and never left my side, and I was so glad for that. She gave me the strength I needed to cope.

Until everyone started calling her my little fag-hag.

After lunch was the worst. On my way to the gym hall, almost every guy I would pass would say something to me, either calling me poof, offering to let me suck them off, or even disappear for a quickie.

I just kept my head low, and carried on.

But trying to get the guys in gym class to actually pass me the ball...

Dad had heard the rumours of course, and when everyone started missing me out of the game, butting into me, and fouling me when I did actually manage to get the ball, he sent me into his office while he talked to the guys.

Eventually, I did find out that he threatened to expel anyone who tried that stuff again.

Seemed he was on my side.

How wrong I was.

When he came into his office and shut the door, I saw the anger in his face. He went through the whole speech. I wasn't gay, I was confused, Ryan had forced himself on me, it was just a phase, things would go back to normal…

So I told him the truth. I was gay, and I was in love with Ryan.

You should have seen him, I seriously thought he was gonna explode.

We talked, or I guess that should be argued, for another ten minutes or so, and then he said the words that eventually drove me to what I did later that night.

"You aren't my son."

By the time I made it the five-minute run home, I was in tears.

Mom was there, and for once, I was glad that she gave me the motherly hug I always used to get when I growing up.

I told her everything. Right from the start. Up to dad's words.

And she still hugged me.

By the time dad came home, Mom was so angry herself. She sent me up to my room as her and him had a blazing argument. I heard from upstairs everything. From the gay jibes to the "he's no son of mine" bit.

The guy I adored most in the world hated me. That's what made me do it.

I can't remember what it was I used, but I thank God now that I didn't do it right. But at the time, I seriously wanted to die.

Mom found me, and I still hate myself for letting her find me like that with blood on my hands.

I remember she got me to the hospital, and all I have a memory of is the boring cream tiles on the ceiling of the hospital room they stuck me in.

Mom was there by my side for those days I was there.

Dad turned up a few times, but every time Mom told him in no uncertain terms to piss off. By the Thursday he seemed to have got the point and stopped trying. Mom told me later that she kicked him out, and didn't want him anywhere near me again.

Guess I could understand that.

I got out that Thursday night, and Mom made sure I was comfortable in my bed. Much better than that horrible hospital bed I can tell you.

I got a visitor on Friday morning. Or rather, my mom got a visitor. It was Sharpay, and she looked terrible. She started going on about how sorry she was to hear what I had happened, that I would be happy wherever I was now the pain had ended.

When she saw me, she practically screamed the house down before pulling me into the most squeezing hug I've ever had.

Apparently, dad had told Ryan that I was dead, and Ryan had gone away to try and get his head round it.

So that's how I ended up at Sharpay's all that day. She'd tried calling Ryan practically every two minutes with no success.

We talked. Almost nothing was skipped over. What I'd done, why I'd done it, how I felt about Ryan, how he felt about me, and why I was still a bit pissy towards Glynn.

But when he walked in the door and saw me, and fainted, my stomach flipped. And when he got up and saw me again, I'd kissed him.

And for the first time in our relationship – or what would come to be our relationship – he let me.

He didn't push me away like he did that night at the Ainslie gig. I didn't rush from the room like I had the first night.

It was a perfect kiss.

Pity Sharpay had to ruin it with her stupid comment.

And I told him everything, what had happened, and why I still wanted him.

And he led me to his room.

But as Ryan already told you, whatever went on in that room stays between the two of us.

Thank god it was a weekend, that's all I can say…


	18. Chapter 18 Always My Doctor

Well, this is it. Everything I have been working towards. The final chapter. But don't worry, as Ryan would say, the stories go on. The next part of this has already been started, and most of it has been planned out to keep it going for a while, and then there are the stories I haven't even started yet. Ryan and Troy's adventure isn't over. When the final page is turned and the book closed, they don't just go away. Those two will carry on forever.

Sorry those lines were corny, I'm in a bit of a funny mood just now. This chapter, when I read it back just now, seems to be a bit rushed, but for the love of me, I can't find how to fix it. I'm really exhausted just now, and I need a break from writing. I've been working on five different stories at the same time, so I'm taking a few weeks off, to get fresh and ready for the next part.

Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. It means so much, you have no idea how much, that the stuff I write can find a place in your hearts. Thanks for taking this version of the two guys we all love into your life for the last two months. I'm amazed at how many people seem to like the idea of pairing Ryan and Doctor Who together. At first, I thought no one would get it, but you have, and I owe you all so much, from the kind reviews, to the messages, to the few friends I've made.

Oh, and the final few paragraphs were how I originally started this story on paper. It seemed fitting that I ended with this, especially as it sort of brings the story full circle to how it started, with Ryan writing about _his_ Doctor.

So, for the last time in this part of the story, enjoy.

* * *

Can't say I was excited about going into school Monday morning.

I know Troy wasn't looking forward to it. After a week of being absent, and with all the rumours going around that were way off the scale it wasn't funny anymore.

Shar skipped classes on Friday to go visit Troy, which I am so grateful to her for, for setting things straight, so to speak. But even she missed out on the nasty gossip that was flying around.

According to Gabriella, the basketball team had found out about Troy's attempted suicide, and were starting to rethink their taunts. She even says that Chad was feeling so ashamed with himself about it all. Apparently when he found out his best friend had tried to top himself, he'd gone to Taylor's and confessed everything.

From spreading the news about Troy and me, to confessing that he still loved Troy like a brother.

The weekend was good for the both of us, but bad for the third party I was involved with. Yep, for those hours since returning home and leaving him until someone, who shall remain nameless - **cough** Sharpay **cough** - mentioned what I was gonna do about him now that it seemed 'you and Troy are doing the horizontal smooching' - her words, not mine – Glynn had totally been forgotten about.

So I went to see him on the Sunday night.

I told him all about Troy, what happened with his father, at school, the Friday night me and Troy spent together. I told him everything.

See, the thing about Glynn is I couldn't bare to lie to him. He had so patient with me ever since we met, and was such an emotional guy that I had to be honest with him.

I could sit here and write that he got really angry, he beat me senseless, told me that I wasn't leaving him for someone else, but he wasn't like that.

He just sat there, didn't cry, didn't say anything. He just kissed me once, his own way of saying goodbye I'd become used to over the last few weeks, and that was the last I saw of him for nearly a year.

So Monday morning was weighing down on me. Not only had I just got rid of this amazing guy who loved the real me, not only was I just trying to start something with Troy, but the comments and insults I was anticipating as we headed into that school was playing havoc with my brain.

I'd left that morning with Shar as usual and she drove us over to Troy's like she said she would, but one thing was missing. My books.

It finally dawned on me last night. My stories were just a way to make my fantasies come to life. Troy as The Doctor taking me around the universe, the two of us so very much in love, being separated on two separate worlds supposedly never seeing him again. The version of Glynn who found the Tardis to help me find The Doctor. The illusions of The Doctor in my mind, telling me to give him up, to wake up and live my life.

Who needs stories like that when I have the real Doctor right beside me…

I knew Troy was feeling apprehensive about walking in to that building. Even leaving the car, we heard the whispered comments. God knows how it would be once it was the entire school looking down on us.

But you know, once we were actually in there, everyone staring at us, girls cooing, having a few people come up and say they were cool with it… really made all the difference.

Troy's basketball buddies even seemed to be making the effort. But there was person I hadn't seen yet, and that was the person I knew Troy was waiting on.

I didn't see him walking up to us until he was right there, and for a second, I thought he was gonna deck Troy.

Chad asked if they could talk, and they disappeared for about five minutes. It wasn't until they came back with a smile on their faces that I let the breath I didn't know I was holding out.

From what Troy told me later that night, Chad was feeling so guilty that, in a way, he'd made Troy do what he did, and he was sorry and apologetic and everything for what he'd said, to both me and Troy, what he'd done, all that.

I was a bit sceptical, I mean, only a week before he seemed like the most homophobic shit I'd met. But apparently, he and Troy were bros, and he would learn to get used to the idea of me and him.

He did continue with a few harmless gay jokes every now and then, but he did seem to be okay with it eventually.

Even Darbus made a few comments about us when we finally got into her class. She suggested that people being gay had been so influential to the drama and music business and that she was glad to have 'two talented young artistes' on her stage.

She really can talk a load of crap some times.

But she did apologise about not being able to hear us perform on the day of the call backs, and suggested that we stay behind after school, and perform for her.

Of course Troy did sing his S Club song, but for the first time, I didn't cry. I can't explain it, I did have a few tears in my eyes at hearing him sing it – performing for me, he admitted later – but they were nothing compared to how I usually was.

Something about being with Troy… he's changing me already.

She did eventually have Kelsi work on writing a few additional songs for the play, and she ended up creating two new roles for us. We weren't the main stars, but we got to sing and perform, so I guess she can be good for some things.

But before we even made it to Darbus' 'auditions' that day, there was one more major shock in store for us.

Or mainly for Troy.

His dad had left the school.

Quit. Resigned. Fired. We didn't know the proper story at the time, and even though his mother had kicked him out of the house, I seriously don't think Troy expected to not see him at the school.

His words that he said to me really were true – he really had lost his son.

That night after Troy's wonderful rendition of that song, he treated me to my own private little performance. A medley of the most perfect voice singing various parts of their songs. Yeah, it was still S Club, and yeah there was a few times when he got the words wrong.

But who needs to worry over the wrong lyrics?

And almost every night since, even on the nights when we were apart, he would lull me to sleep with that voice of his.

Even now, twenty two years later, at the age of forty, he still whispers those songs to me at night.

As I write this, I can hear the sounds of the Tardis approaching, and I await the return of My Doctor. Of course, his car could never reach the distances that the Tardis ever could, and no matter how old I am, and how long it's been since I last wrote about him, Troy will always be My Doctor.

In reality, however, he has loved me in a way 'The Doctor' never could.

My Doctor Troy. He can take me away in his Tardis any day.

* * *

My name is Ryan Evans, and I live on planet Earth. This is where I was born, and this is where I will some day die. 

For the first seventeen years of my life nothing really happened. Not much. Very rarely. But then I met a guy called Troy Bolton. A guy who taught me love. He showed me the world, showed me how to live, and showed me how good my future would one day become.

I thought it would never last more than six months.

At least that's what I thought.

But then came his proposal. And then came the wedding, and our son. And from there it just continued.

But that's a story for another time.

For this is the story of how I lived.


End file.
